Jencyclopedia

A man is in love with a woman he didn’t marry.
Marley Shelton wants to prove she knows more than her big sister, Laurie Forman.
A guy wants the most extreme fantasy ever.

Right away, this feels very different than the original series. This feels a bit like an Are You Afraid of the Dark episode, where someone has just wandered into Mr. Sardo’s store, having no idea what’s about to happen to them.

The first scene shows the fantasy booking procedure. I’m fairly certain booking a fantasy did not work this way in the original series. I get the feeling the original Fantasy Island was not really a secret — after all, Roarke didn’t have a problem with a TV news reporter doing a report on the island in 6×6 “The Beautiful Skeptic”. People seemed to either call or write in to book their fantasies; there was no secret travel agency they had to visit. I also feel like they got a lot of requests for fantasies, and Roarke would pick and choose which fantasies to fulfill.

But this is a reboot; they’re allowed to change things. The only thing I don’t like is that showing the booking process could potentially take away some of the mystery. But they’ve also introduced two new mysterious characters, and as long as they don’t reveal too much about them, that could work. I have a feeling this travel agency is not in a fixed location; like if this guy came back next week, the place wouldn’t still be there, and the agency probably just appears wherever and whenever it’s needed.

There’s already some magic happening with the travel agency door closing and the weather changing immediately. I wonder if as soon as the guy walked in the door, he was in Fantasy Island — sorta like if you’re in the American embassy in another country, you are technically in America. After all, ~it never rains on Fantasy Island~ (except all those times that it did).

Love the gag with the closet full of white suits. What do I even call this guy though? I don’t feel right calling him Roarke, but… I guess I gotta call him Roarke.

Someone is ringing a bell in the distance, and it sounds like they are yelling “the plane”. Yep, this is good.

Ewww no. I do not like that font at all.

Oh my god this opening sequence ahhh the special effects. This is so ’90s.

The plane is white and blue, same as the plane in the new 2021 series. Hm.

Okay, this guy yelling “the plane” is really damn annoying. Tattoo only did it twice.

I wonder where they filmed this.

I wonder if this Harry guy is supposed to be Lawrence-y.

Harry: Wonderful suit, sir.
Roarke: Oh, thank you, Harry. Have those white ones burnt, will you? I think they’re a little dated.

I’m feeling kind of attacked right now.

Cal: Hey, you know I only take orders from the boss.

I think this is our first “boss”. I immediately dislike Harry and Cal though.

Roarke: Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

There are no dancing girls or music, which is a little weird, because Roarke starts right into talking about the guests. We need a second to breathe first.

Roarke: That’s Matthew Ashby, our last second arrival. Mr. Ashby thinks he married the wrong girl.
Cal: Hey, I’ve been there.
Harry: Oh, spare us the details.

Calling him Mr. Ashby is good (although our Mr. Roarke would have called him Mr. Matthew Ashby, but okay).

However, what I’ve transcribed above is the entire conversation about Mr. Ashby. No mention of where he’s from or what he does, no ending on an ominous note, no “who’s that guy? he looks kinda shy”. I feel like they should go into more detail about the fantasies.

The banter between Cal and Harry makes me want to see an episode with Tattoo and Lawrence.

Harry: And that must be Mr. Barnes.
Roarke: Correct. Richard “Freefall” Barnes. Mr. Barnes likes to flirt with death, but death is looking for a more permanent relationship.

This is a good line, but Our Roarke wouldn’t usually say something so punny.

Roarke: Jackie desperately wants to prove that she’s smarter than her sister. In fact, she wants to know everything.
Harry: And will she?
[Roarke doesn’t answer.]

This is classic season 3-ish Rude Roarke. I’m fine if This Roarke wants to be Rude Roarke to those dorks, but I don’t like Our Roarke being rude to Tattoo.

Roarke: My guests… welcome to Fantasy Island. I am your host, Mr. Roarke. This is Harry, the hotel concierge, and Cal, the hotel bellhop, who will tend to your bags.

Are these guests not dear to you?

Roarke: Well, we are delighted to have you here. Our only condition, as you know, is that you must never tell anyone of your experiences on this island.
Regina Martin: Why’s that?
Roarke: Well, for one thing… nobody would believe you.

I guess if all the guests signed NDAs, that’s okay… but I don’t think I would go to Fantasy Island if I had to sign an NDA.

Richard Barnes: Hey, chief! Wait up!
Roarke: I’ve been called many things in my time, but “chief” isn’t one of them.

Roarke: By the way, congratulations on your recent wedding.
Richard Barnes: Yeah, I’m a lucky guy.
Roarke: Luck has a tendency to run out.

I feel like this guy’s wife is gonna be in danger.

Roarke: Look, are you sure you wouldn’t rather get back on that sea plane and rejoin your lady wife?
Richard Barnes: No way. You only live once.

Mr. Barnes, just like an original series guest, ignores Roarke’s warnings.

A ladder just came out of the sky, Roarke told Mr. Barnes to hold on, he did, and then he flew away. The ladder was attached to a helicopter, which Cal was flying… but then Cal pushed the buggy with the bags down the dock and said “there’s only so many places I can be at one time”. Umm… k. Not sure what that’s about.

Matthew Ashby: Cosmopolitan, please.
Cal: You got it. You waiting for someone?
Matthew Ashby: How could you tell?
Cal: I couldn’t. It’s just one of those four things that bartenders are supposed to say. You know, like “The usual?”, “Rough day?”, “How about those?”, and “Waiting for someone?”

This exchange is cute. I don’t know what he means by “How about those?” though. Does he mean like as in “How about those Dodgers?” or “How about those two chicks over there?” or “How about those bottles of alcohol over there?” I don’t know; I don’t go to bars.

Ah! They are playing “I Ran (So Far Away)” on Fantasy frickin’ Island… which, I mean, the song did come out in 1982, but they would never have played that on the original series. The original series was strictly disco, even long after disco was dead.

Ooh, we’ve got time travel.

Cal: Hey, I heard Gary Coleman was here tonight!

Interesting choice of celebrity. I wonder if it was random, or if they were trying to make some kind of vague connection to Tattoo.

Our Roarke would never wear a hat like that.

[Past Emily asks Past Matthew to come with her somewhere.]
Matthew Ashby: No, no! Wait! Emily, I can go! I can!
Roarke: But you didn’t go, did you?
Matthew Ashby: No. I was a schmuck.
Roarke: Indeed.

This show is impressing me so far with the callbacks. If the new series doesn’t have this many callbacks, I will be very disappointed. I’ll also be absolutely fine if next episode, they completely drop the “indeeds” and whatnot; they just need to acknowledge the history of the show and pander to the original fans in the first episode, and then they can go off and make it their own if they want. That’s fine. (Buuut if they change anything, I’ll still complain, because that’s how I am.)

The “indeed” could have just been a coincidence, but I don’t think it was. I feel like the word “indeed” is not one of the first things casual viewers would associate with Fantasy Island, so I feel like they’ve done their research, and I appreciate it.

I just realized I have no idea how I’m possibly gonna be able to write a post on the new series without pausing and rewinding every ten seconds.

Whoa, okay, so Roarke and Mr. Ashby were in a club in the ’80s, and now they’re walking on the beach, and no one even acknowledges the change of location? Weird.

[Reading a question from a Jeopardy! board game.]
Regina Martin: “In 1962, the Beatles hit the top of the pops with this song.”

What does that even mean? According to my research, the Beatles’ first appearance on Top of the Pops was in 1964. I think the answer they’re looking for is “Love Me Do”, but that’s stupid wording (and also very America-centric, because “Love Me Do” apparently did not reach number 1 in the UK).

Jackie Martin: The travel agent told me that once I got to this island, I would know everything. Mr. Roarke, there is such a thing as a verbal contract.

Guests harassing Roarke? Check.

Roarke: Miss Martin, are you sure you know what you’re asking? Personally, I find it quite painful to know everything.

This is revealing a little too much for me.

Jackie Martin: I’m going to destroy her.
Roarke: An admirable goal, Miss Martin.

This sounds like Pilot Roarke. Well, this is Pilot Roarke, so I guess I should say 1977 Roarke.

Matthew Ashby: I need to see Mr. Roarke right away.
Harry: Certainly, sir. Is there some problem?
Matthew Ashby: Obviously, there’s a problem — my wife is here!
Roarke: What a coincidence.

Surprise guest? Check. I noticed recently that they didn’t have many surprise guests in the later seasons of the original series though; that was mostly an earlier season thing.

I don’t like Roarke saying “what a coincidence” here though. Our Roarke would have just raised his eyebrows, and maybe added a “really?” Our Roarke said more by saying less.

Roarke: You see, your wife cannot recognize you.
[Mr. Ashby looks in the mirror. He faces a mirror image that is not his own.]

OH MY GOD. That picture in the background. Perfect. I love it. Yes.

I don’t know about Mr. Barnes’ fantasy; it’s supposed be extreme, but they dragged him from a plane and then dropped him in the middle of an ocean. That seems more like torture to me.

[About Harry.]
Richard Barnes: Where’d you find this weenie?
Roarke: In a burning hotel, a little singed around the collar.

They’ve mentioned a few little things about Harry and Cal’s past (like we know Cal was married once), but it doesn’t tell us much. However, the “burning” part of this… is Roarke implying he rescued Harry from hell? Or does he mean an actual burning hotel? I don’t want them to tell us… but I do want to know.

I’m remembering now why I hated Fantasy Island when I first started watching it; the fantasies themselves are kind of boring, and Roarke and Tattoo make the show. And then, of course, after a while, Carol Lynley and Phyllis Davis and Dennis Cole and all the regular guests grew on me, and of course, it was always nice to have people like Gilligan and Marcia and other actors I already knew pop up occasionally. I mean, yes, I do know Lisa Robin Kelly and Marley Shelton, but… it’s not the same. Bob Denver was the main character in a hugely popular series; Lisa Robin Kelly was just a recurring character.

I wonder where Madchen Amick is. I did see a spoiler about her character though, so… is she Harry or Cal, I wonder?

This shot reminds me of a similar shot of Roarke in 4×2 “The Mermaid Returns”.

Hahaha omg they’re on the actual set of Jeopardy! If Alex Trebek is not in this, that’s gonna be… oh. Dammit. No. Roarke is the host. Of course he is. That… makes sense, I guess. This is sort of like 5×20 “The Quiz Masters”. Except “The Quiz Masters” didn’t use the actual set of any specific game show, so we weren’t disappointed when Bob Barker or Richard Dawson didn’t show up.

Oh, there’s Madchen. Vanna White isn’t on Jeopardy! though.

At the beginning of the episode, Mr. Ashby was all on about how much he loved Emily’s laugh. In her first appearance, her laugh seemed to be dubbed, and now she’s got a different, more annoying laugh. I think they did that on purpose.

Roarke: The answer to the question is… your sister Regina.
Jackie Martin: My sister Regina? Uh, I’m not sure I know… uh… my sister Regina… sister… I know! The question is who slept with my fiancé Roger last year in Antigua!

After Jackie says this, she looks all sad but… isn’t it better to know that now than when he’s your husband Roger?

That was a pretty predictable outcome to the “I want to know everything” fantasy… but the original series was pretty predictable too so… that’s good, I guess.

Roarke: Terrible tragedy.
Richard Barnes: What do you mean?
Roarke: I mean, Mr. Barnes, you are dead.

Uhh, that doesn’t happen on Fantasy Island.

Richard Barnes: But I can’t be dead.
Roarke: Oh yes, you can. As the proverbial doornail. In the vernacular, you have fallen… and you can’t… get up.

WHAT. He just said “you have fallen and you can’t get up” completely seriously. Has anybody ever said that with a straight face?

Roarke: Now it’s time for my fantasy.
Richard Barnes: What do you mean, your fantasy?
Roarke: I’ve often wondered what it would be like to lead a normal life… the same kind of life that you’re running away from.

Interesting.

Roarke: You are a wussy.

There have been a couple of scenes where red flowers have made an appearance, but they’re not the same flowers from the original series, so I think it may just be a coincidence.

Ahh, okay, so Ariel shapeshifted into Matthew Ashby’s love interest, Emily. That’s actually a pretty good way of explaining how Roarke is able to get all these specific people onto the island. I did think Roarke was a little weird with her when she met him briefly earlier.

[Ariel and Roarke are watching Matthew and his wife walking happily along the beach together.]
Ariel: Do you miss it, Roarke? The desire, the need?
Roarke: I’ve forgotten.
Ariel: That’s a shame. Maybe I could refresh your memory some time.

Ugggh.

Captain Kirk had love interests, and I was always fine with that, because they were always gone by the end of the episode. Roarke also occasionally had love interests, but they were also always gone by the end of the episode. Why don’t modern shows do girl-of-the-week anymore? Why does every main character have to have a love interest?

Roarke: Are you going to carry a chip on your shoulder, or are you going to find forgiveness?

Uh, her sister slept with her fiancé, dude; she does not need to forgive her immediately. She has a right to be mad for quite a while.

Cal: I love when a woman plays hard-to-get.
Ariel: Oh, I’m not hard-to-get, Cal; I’m impossible-to-get.

Q: Oh, I see, this is one of those silly human rituals; you’re playing hard to get.
Janeway: As far as you’re concerned, Q, I’m impossible to get.

Roarke: Well, gentlemen — and lady — a job well done.
Cal: So, uh, are we any closer to getting…?
Roarke: Released? A little closer.

No. I don’t like this.

Fisher: Dammit!
Clia: Watch your language.

This could just be an old lady thing, or they could be making this a religious thing again.

Filmed on location in Maui, Kauai & Oahu

Nice. Accurate. Though, Fantasy Island is really in California, so I kind of would have preferred if they filmed in California too.

Why can’t one of these remakes dress up the Queen Anne Cottage with cobwebs or something and make it look a bit dilapidated, or better yet, put a plaque out front and pretend it’s a museum, and it contains testimonials and snapshots from all the past satisfied guests? Fantasy Island has got to be one of the only shows where the original location is still there and still looks very much like it did in the original show. Use the cottage, dammit!

Oh my goodness — someone has already added the songs in this episode to IMDb! Thank you, whoever-you-are, for saving me what would probably eventually amount to an hour or two of my life.

Alright, so. I liked the callbacks. I like that they used a lot of the same tropes as the original, a lot of the things that I tracked — I won’t mention all of them here, because I mention them all in my list below.

I think the most noticeably missing bit was Roarke’s disappearing act. I absolutely would have loved a “but I must warn you” or a “your fantasy is over”. We also didn’t visit any neighbouring islands, but they don’t do that every episode. There were no magic objects, magic doors, magic pathways, or magic fog either. They also didn’t talk about the price of the fantasy.

Also very noticeably missing was Roarke’s office; there weren’t any sets on the island in this episode that seemed like they would show up again, other than the dock.

Anyway, I think they did a good job. I don’t particularly care for any of the characters, so I don’t expect I’m going to like this, but I do hope they keep making callbacks to the original series, because I’ll at least enjoy that.

• Guests:
  • Matthew Ashby
  • Richard “Freefall” Barnes
  • Jackie Martin, a promising young law student, with her sister Regina, an even more promising young law student
• Last chance:
  • Roarke: Look, are you sure you wouldn’t rather get back on that sea plane and rejoin your lady wife?
    Richard Barnes: No way. You only live once.
• Time travel: Matthew Ashby travels back to 1985, briefly.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Matthew Ashby: No, no! Wait! Emily, I can go. I can!
    Roarke: But you didn’t go, did you?
    Matthew Ashby: No. I was a schmuck.
    Roarke: Indeed.
• Surprise guest: Matthew Ashby’s wife, Carol Ashby
• Cancelling the fantasy:
  • Roarke: You can stop this right now and go home.
    Richard Barnes: Forget it.
• Not what I asked for:
  • Richard Barnes: Wait, but… this was not my fantasy.
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • Matthew Ashby: You called me Matthew. You recognize me?
    Carol Ashby: There is no spell, Matthew. This was my fantasy. Make my husband see what he was missing. Make him appreciate our marriage again.
• Leaving with another guest: Matthew Ashby with his wife Carol
• Age gap:
  • Farrah Forke: 30 / John Mese: 34 = 4 years
  • Rachel York: 27 / John Mese: 34 = 7 years
  • Marley Shelton: 24 / Scott Denny: ? = ?
  • Lisa Robin Kelly: 28 / Scott Denny: ? = ?
  • Mädchen Amick: 27 / Malcolm McDowell: 55 = 28 years
• Cast:
  • Paul Hipp … Richard “Freefall” Barnes
  • Marley Shelton … Jackie Martin
  • John Mese … Matthew Ashby / “Dexter P. Moore”
  • Farrah Forke … Carol Ashby (Matthew’s wife)
  • Rachel York … Emily Brand (or Brandt) / “Wanda Belcher” (Matthew’s love interest)
  • Hank Stratton … Dr. Karl Pitzer (Carol’s love interest)
  • Lisa Robin Kelly … Regina Martin (Jackie’s sister)
  • Scott Denny … Roger (Jackie’s fiancé)
  • Christian Hoff … Tommy (Regina’s boyfriend?)
  • James McDaniel (uncredited) … Louis Burton (the man in the travel agency at the end; he also appears in the next episode, 1×2 “Superfriends”)
• IMDb notes:
  • Heather Graham is not in this. Marley Shelton looks a lot like her (I actually thought it was Heather Graham too at first), but Heather Graham is not in this, and I know IMDb will say they “can’t verify” it if I submit a correction.