Jencyclopedia

Alyssa Milano stars in 4×15 “Loving Strangers”.
3×23 “Eagleman”, but this time, his name is Dynoman.

Oh. All the episodes only have one title? Boo.

I don’t really dig the travel agency thing. It feels too different from the original, but that’s probably what they wanted.

The TV in the travel agency is playing The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (“Silky Thompson/Gracie Writes ‘My Life with George Burns'”). Here’s a bit more context of that conversation:

George Burns: You cannot say that a man robbed a bank when it isn’t true.
Gracie Allen: But it is true; my Uncle Harvey did it!
George Burns: You wrote it about Silky Thompson; he can go to jail for that!
Gracie Allen: I couldn’t write about my Uncle Harvey; he’s already in jail.

They’re not using the old standard Fantasy Island contracts any more (3×21 “Jungle Man”).

It feels like I’m watching like 3×20 “One Million B.C.” with this combined shot. The ’90s were like the low point for movie/TV special effects; special effects before that were made from actual physical things, and sure, they often didn’t look great, but then in the ’80s and ’90s, we started using computer animation, but it wasn’t very good yet, so it looked worse than the ol’ flashing lights and spinning camera effect.

We’ve got opening scene shenanigans again, but I’m not that happy about it, because I don’t particularly like Harry or Cal.

Harry: What’s Roarke gonna say when he sees all this?
[He looks up. There’s a plane flying overhead.]
Harry: Cal.
Me:
Harry: Cal… we’re late.
Me:
Cal: The plane.
Me:

[Cal is running down the dock.]
Cal: The plane! The plane! Ding ding! The plane! The plane! The plane! Ding ding! The plane!
Roarke: Bit late for that, Cal.

Are you serious? I thought they were only gonna do that in the first episode. Of all the traditions from the original series to continue, that’s the worst one, and they’ve done it in the most annoying possible way.

Roarke: Louis Burton, investment banker, recently divorced. Mr. Burton is a very busy man, and is looking for a quick and easy remedy for the strained relationship with his son Max. He only sees Max at weekends, and even then, has precious little time for him. As a result, Max has become obsessed with Dynoman, his video game hero. He’s retreated into his own world.

This is a better length for the opening spiel than the previous episode’s one-line summaries, but there was no ominous ending here, which is disappointing. They probably intended this to be a Jingle All the Way ripoff, but we Fantasy Islanders know it’s actually “Eagleman”.

Harry: Sorry, sir. Cell phones don’t operate on the island.

Roarke: Your work day is over, Mr. Burton. Your fantasy has begun.

Is this a reference to the phrase “your fantasy is over”? I’m gonna pretend it is.

Um so a guest took a picture of Roarke, and it turned out like this.

[Gina Williams and Doug Strickman were playing a game earlier where they would point out someone on the island and name the celebrity they thought they looked like.]
Roarke: Sting?
Gina Williams: You heard that?
Roarke: I hear everything.

Gina Williams: I was just curious, is there something I should be doing? Some kind of spell or potion?

Gina’s seen Fantasy Island before. (Actually, yeah, she did: on the TV in the travel agency.)

Roarke: Before we get into all that, may I ask you a question? Wouldn’t it be easier just to tell Mr. Strickman how you truly feel?

I feel like Our Roarke did this a few times in the original series, so I like this.

Roarke: No potions, no spells. In fact, your fantasy has already begun.

Is this gonna be this Roarke’s recurring phrase?

Oh my god. Is this Pepper?!

A hand just came out of the phone book and closed it. This feels like a kids’ show.

Okay, and then in the next scene, the father in the “Eagleman” fantasy crossed his arms in an X across his chest and spun around really fast, and now, he’s Dynoman… Yeah, I don’t quite get why people think this series is darker than the original.

Gina’s fantasy is for her best friend Doug to forget her so that they can meet again for the first time and become lovers rather than just friends. Instead, he ends up spending the day playing golf with another woman, Leila. I started thinking maybe Doug is a part of Leila’s fantasy — but that would be poor planning on Roarke’s part, because that directly conflicts with Gina’s fantasy. Then I started thinking wouldn’t it be great if there was an episode where Roarke and Tattoo were both planning separate fantasies, but they accidentally overlapped? Like they both had a girl who wanted to find the perfect husband, and they both tried to set her up with the same guy? (Oh wait, that’s kind of 5×17 “Tattoo, the Matchmaker”. So maybe they’ve got two completely unrelated fantasies — one involves a love interest, and the other involves a job — and the person in the middle who’s supposed to be involved in both fantasies ends up doing the two-dates-at-the-same time gag… but that 1×15 “Double Your Pleasure”.)

Harry: Uh, sir. Well, you know how you often endow us with various powers to facilitate the fantasies?

I probably need to do a post about Tattoo — like what exactly does he know about Roarke, what powers does he have (because I believe he did disappear on his own in 5×2 “Kid Corey”, although I suppose he could have just hidden behind a rock), how long has he been on the island, etc. It seems that 1×1 “Mel Loves Ruby” could possibly be suggesting Roarke’s assistants aren’t just a normal, run-of-the-mill people, and there was something special about him.

Has Cal always worn a bowtie like Tattoo? Oh, he’s wearing black pants, so I don’t think this is a Tattoo reference.

Doug and Gina are having dinner, and he says he’s vegan, and she’s like wtf, because she’s known him for however long, and she knows he’s not a vegan. Then he says he’s a lawyer, but she knows he’s a photographer. So it seems Roarke has made Doug into what he would have been if he had never met Gina, which means Doug meeting Gina led to him having a completely different career and life and personality. I sense she’s gonna show up in Roarke’s office to complain soon.

Roarke is talking to her through the TV. 4×14 “The Chateau”-esque.

Louis Burton: Just give me a few minutes and meet me over at the bungalow.

I think this is the first time they’ve called it a bungalow.

Gina and Doug are watching The Three Stooges’ Uncivil Warriors on their date.

This storyline about Cal and Harry trying to dump some garbage is taking up so much time, it’s almost like a third fantasy. I wish the Roarke/Tattoo storylines would have taken up that much time in the original series.

Roarke: Need I remind you you are not here on holiday; you have amends to make, penance to pay through labour. If you don’t want to be sent back to where I found you, I suggest you bag the trash.

So yeah, Roarke rescued them for hell… meh.

Doug Strickman: Mr. Roarke, I can’t thank you enough. Meeting Leila has been the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Roarke: I’m so glad, Mr. Strickman. And I wish you both all the best wishes in the world.

WTF. That’s not right! Gina can’t leave unhappy!

Ah. Okay. Just before he was about to leave, Gina professed her love to him and kissed him, and then they leapt back to the beginning of the fantasy, and now he’s back to normal.

Ohh, Leila was Ariel. Dammit. I need to start watching for that.

Ariel: You know, Roarke, it would be nice one of these days to play the girl who actually gets the guy.

Don’ttttt. He’s old enough to be her grandfather. (Don’t @ me.)

[Fisher is playing the Dynoman video game. He gets the high score, but he accidentally enters his name as FISHET.]
Fisher: Dammit.

I guess this might be Fisher’s catchphrase?

• Roarke’s powers:
  • With a wave of his hand, he can clean his tie.
  • He’s good at instant gardening and landscaping.
• Employees: Scotty, the garbage man (although, maybe “employee” isn’t quite right; he also makes the mints and soaps and all the supplies for the guest rooms. I almost get the feeling he holds some kind of power over Roarke, but the actor doesn’t appear in any other episodes, so probably not.)
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: Is there a problem, children?
    Cal: No, boss.
  • [Max is skipping stones on the ocean.]
    Roarke: Here, try this. You’ll have better luck with this one.
    [The stone skips really far and glows.]
    Max Burton: Wow!
    Roarke: Wow indeed.
• Guests:
  • Louis Burton, investment banker, and his son Max
  • Gina Williams, jewellery designer, and Doug Strickman, sports photographer
• Can’t help you:
  • Gina Williams: So change him back! Give me my old Doug.
    Roarke: I’m afraid I can’t, Miss Williams. It’s out of my hands.
• Fantasy Island brand:
  • dumpster
  • Yellow Pages
  • mint
• Age gap:
  • Alyssa Milano: 25 / Michael Buchman Silver: 31 = 6 years
  • Dawn Radenbaugh: 23 / Michael Buchman Silver: 31 = 8 years
• Cast:
  • James McDaniel … Louis Burton
  • Michael Buchman Silver … Doug Strickman (Gina’s friend)
  • Jascha Washington … Max Burton (Louis’ son)
  • Max Perlich … Scotty (the garbage man)
  • James MacDonald … Rex Raskin (the man who befriends Max)
  • Dawn Radenbaugh … Leila (Doug’s love interest)
  • Alyssa Milano … Gina Williams