Jencyclopedia

A narcissistic woman wants her daughter to talk to her again.
Spock wants to experience something that defies all logical explanation, so Roarke has him fall in love with Bones.

I don’t like that this episode only has one title (after watching the episode though… I understand).

Hey, we’ve got opening scene shenanigans with Roarke and Tattoo Ruby!

Ruby: I tried to call Mel, and–
Elena: It didn’t go through?
Ruby: No.
Elena: No, it wouldn’t.

Interesting. Cell phones didn’t work on the island in 1998’s 1×2 “Superfriends” either.

Eileen Mitchell: Now, where can I get a martini?

My mom was like “for breakfast?!” and I was like well, maybe she came from a different timezone. Actually, I can’t think of any instances in the original series where anyone had jet lag, although, if Fantasy Island was indeed in the Pacific Ocean, since most of the guests came from America, the jet lag probably wouldn’t be as bad.

Elena: I’m your host, Elena Roarke, and this is my associate, Ruby.

I like that Ruby is an associate, not an assistant.

Charles Wakefield: Everything in the universe is explainable.

I feel this way about Fantasy Island; I can explain everything if I do enough mental gymnastics.

[She sees her family.]
Eileen Mitchell: It’s really them, right? I mean, not actors or androids or anything?

Maybe once or twice in the original series, the guests made a comment that indicated they assumed the other people in their fantasy were actors (eg. 6×6 “The Beautiful Skeptic”), but most of the time, guests didn’t ask stuff like this. I like that she’s asking this, so we can’t just explain away her family’s presence as magic. Also, maybe I’ll just pretend the android thing is a reference to 5×7 “The Perfect Husband”.

Elena: But Eileen, a word of warning–

Ah! Is this Roarke’s first warning? 😍

This is a bit like 4×7 “The Invisible Woman”.

Ruby [to Wally the bartender]: Do you know Roarke’s drink?

This is classic: a character is talking directly to the bartender, and the bartender doesn’t even get a line.

It’s kind of weird that so much of the episode has been spent on the “Invisible Woman” fantasy, but we’ve hardly had anything about the other fantasy.

Charles Wakefield: Logic dictates that these are cheap magic tricks.

Okay, Spock.

Charles Wakefield: Would you stay and talk with me here a while?

Aww, Roarke is playing matchmaker.

Elena: Look, I know being here feels like you’re stumbling around in a dark room, and you’re looking for the light switch. But believe me when I tell you… you’re not gonna find one.

This reminds me of Bellisario’s maxim.

Eileen Mitchell: I’m a woman, not a lab experiment.

Okay, Bones.

I’m trying to imagine Eileen’s lines spoken in Bones’ voice now, and it is delightful.

Eileen Mitchell: You’re a lonely, close-minded, stick-in-the-mud.

Green-blooded son-of-a-bitch.

Elena: Your desire was to experience something ~unexplainable~.

Yeah, and it was ~looove~.

Elena: Maybe that’s why you’re so alone.
Charles Wakefield: This has nothing to do with my fantasy.

I feel like more guests should complain when this happens. I once went to a hypnotist because I wanted to be able to swallow pills, but they made me fill out a really long survey first, and they were like oh, you’re shy? We’ll make you the life of the party! And we’ll make you like eating your vegetables too! And I was like no, just the pill thing, please. If I was a guest on Fantasy Island, as soon as Roarke started trying to make me fall in love, I’d probably just jump on the next plane and leave without telling anyone, because I’m not the type to go to Roarke’s office and throw a tantrum.

Eileen Mitchell: I’m a bit older than you.

This line is funny, considering how often there were large, unacknowledged age gaps in the original series (though almost always, it was the man who was older). Unfortunately, the actor who plays Charles doesn’t have his birthdate on IMDb, so I don’t know the gap between these two, but I’d be willing to bet there were much larger age gaps in the original series.

[Eileen is invisible. Charles is the only one who can hear her. Charles is talking to Eileen’s daughter, Theo, while Eileen stands by.]
Theo Mitchell: You know my mother. What a coincidence. How’d you two meet?
Charles Wakefield: How did we meet? We, uh…
Eileen Mitchell: We met at a conference.
Charles Wakefield: We met at a conference.
Theo Mitchell: A conference for what?
Eileen Mitchell: Sustainable–
Charles Wakefield: Sustainable farming.
Eileen Mitchell: Fashion!
Charles Wakefield: Fashion.
Theo Mitchell: My mother, who you’re friends with?
Charles Wakefield: Yes. My friend Eileen. Your mother.
Theo Mitchell: When was the last time you saw her?

At the Brewster’s Christmas party.

Eileen Mitchell: You know I just realized that I’ve been thinking so much about myself, I didn’t even ask what your fantasy was.
Charles Wakefield: You know, Eileen… I think it was you.

This would normally fall under my “someone else had a fantasy” list, but this is the first time two main fantasies have intertwined, so I don’t know where to put this.

Eileen Mitchell: This has truly been a transformative week.

Week?! Hmmm.

Elena had an ominous look on her face after drinking her orange juice, so I have to do this:

Elena: Ruby. Come with me. I want to show you something.

Her own little car?! Nah, it was just a chair.

Kiara Barnes is quite good at playing an old woman. They did really well with casting the main characters on this show.

• Guests:
  • Ms. Eileen Mitchell, a former model
  • Professor Charles Wakefield, a particle physicist
• Locations:
  • Elena: Meet me at the mangroves in an hour.
• Religion:
  • Charles Wakefield: I spent many years on a team searching for a subatomic particle known as the Higgs boson.
    Elena: The God particle.
• Warnings:
  • Charles Wakefield: Ms. Roarke, I should warn you; I’m about as skeptical as they come.
  • Elena: But Eileen, a word of warning–
• Recurring phrases:
  • Eileen Mitchell: You know, you have a much better sense of hospitality than your boss.
• Not leaving on the plane: Eileen and Charles both stay on the island with Eileen’s daughter and her family to enjoy a real vacation.
• Age gap:
  • Debbi Morgan (Eileen): 69 / Cliff Chamberlain (Charles): ? = ?
  • Mieko Hillman (Theo): ? / Rodrigo Rojas (David): ? = ?
  •