Me: The guy who says “Previously on Lost” is Christian.
Mom: Oh!
My brother: Would it matter if he was Jewish?
Me & Mom: …
Geronimo Jackson… Geronimo… Jack’s… SON!
I had a bad dream last night… I was using Internet Explorer.
Me: Meat Loaf and Alice Cooper should do something together. That would be awesome.
My brother: They did. Roadie?
Me: Oh yeah… nevermind.
Your brain says, “Hey, that’s not how we make /p/!”
linguistics professor
Being a pessimist sucks.
Me: Tommy the Power Ranger is a UFC fighter now.
Mom: Cool…… what’s a UFC fighter?
Me: …I dunno.
Me & mom: [burst into laughter]
My scissors say “oh snip” on them, and I think that’s one of the cleverest things I’ve done, but no one ever gets to see it.
I finally beat Sporcle’s presidents quiz. #WhoIsJamesKPolk
US PresidentsCan you name the presidents of the United States of America?