[Watching VOY “Real Life”.]
Doctor: Jeffrey, think about this.
Jeffrey: Oh, I’ve thought about it. I’m going to become a warrior, and I can’t do that if I’m being led around on a leash by some bloodless petaQ.
Mom: He can’t petaQ to his father like that.
conversations (56 posts)
[Watching an episode of Seinfeld with a content warning at the beginning.]
Me: I’m gonna be really disappointed if I’m not offended.
My brother: I’m gonna be really offended if I’m not offended.[Twenty minutes later.]
My brother: I’m not offended yet.
Me: I can’t even enjoy the episode, because I’m just waiting to be offended.
Dad: I don’t wear socks any more; I’m a vege…socka…minus.
[Mom is talking about the city of Rio.]
Me: You know what else is in Rio?
Mom: I don’t know, what? Probably some Mike Nesmith song that I can never remember the name of because it’s called something weird.
Me: “Rio”?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: It’s windy. Hey, do you know it’s windy?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Dammit, mom!
Mom: …everyone knows it’s windy.
Me: Thank you, mom.
I’m learning to sew. I just made my first skirt, so I’m rather proud of myself. I wore the skirt to work today. As I’m walking to work, there’s a woman standing at the intersection, waiting to cross. I see her looking at me, and when I get close, she says to me: “That is a beautiful hat”.
Me: Mom, tell me all the Monkees concert quotes you remember.
Mom: “We went over to England to meet the royal family… no, not that royal family… I’m told I had a good time.”
Mom: What’s that Mike Nesmith song, “Proquipititity”?
Me: How cold is it today?
Mom: Let me check the thermometer… it’s pretty cool.
Me: What number?
Mom: I can’t tell; it’s frosted over.
[A bunch of ambulances are lined up outside a hospital.]
Little girl: I’m reading the fire truck.
Mother: Yeah? What does it say?
Little girl: Beep beep!