Me: You know what’s a good album?
My brother: What?
Me: The New Monkees album.
My brother: The Christmas album?
Me: No, the New Monkees album. Like… quote “The New Monkees” endquote. The album by The New Monkees. The band is called The New Monkees.
conversations (56 posts)
Me: Is it weird if I see someone and think “she looks just like Davy’s daughter?”
My mom & brother: Yes.
Me: Have you ever looked at a person and been like, “Man, they look like a Cardassian”?
Dad: You know, I have. There are some girls who just–
Me: No, a Cardassian.
Me: Hey mom, bI’IH!
Mom: What.
Me: bI’IH!
Mom: What does that mean.
Me: You’re beautiful!
Mom: …how.
Me: bI is “you” and ‘IH is “beautiful”.
Mom: …in Ukrainian?
Me: …yes. In Ukrainian.
Me: Hey dad, bI’IH!
Dad: What’s that, Klingon?
My brother and I were playing Rock Band, and I turned the vocal track off and the microphone up and proceeded to murder “Last Train to Clarksville”. When the song was over, my brother turned to me and said:
My brother: Hey, you remember that time you were at a Monkees concert, and it was after Davy died, so they had people come up on stage and sing “Daydream Believer”? And you remember how you wanted to do it?
Me: …shut up.
Dad: [goes into Tim Hortons, buys a stack of hockey cards]
Cashier: That’s a lot of hockey cards!
Dad: Yeah, well, they’re for my daughter.
Me: [goes into Tim Hortons, buys a stack of hockey cards]
Cashier: Wow, are these all for you?
Me: No, they’re for my dad.
Me: I only had to run the lottery simulator 25 times before the Bruins won!
Dad: You know, in the real lottery…
My brother: I don’t think I like anything as much as you like the Monkees.
Dad: Ooh, 2 on 1
Me & my brother: But it’s Paille.
“What’s the next game?”
“Calgary.”
“That’ll be a good game.”
“It’s at ten o’clock.”
“That won’t be a good game.”