Jencyclopedia

Two kids want their divorced parents to get back together.
A woman with amnesia wants to figure out if she’s a dead rich guy’s daughter.

I was actually paying attention for once when Roarke described the fantasies, but I still had to re-watch the “Voodoo” intro because there were so many characters involved, and I’m still not exactly sure how any of it made sense.

I read a while ago that they purposely made each fantasy separate so that they could run the series in half-hour slots in syndication, and I could definitely tell in the other seasons that that was the case. But these early episodes must have been harder to chop up, because there’s more overlap. During the intro to the kids’ fantasy, Roarke explains that they paid $51. When the Shanes come off the plane, Tattoo says something like “are they paying full price?” but that line wouldn’t work as well if you didn’t see the bit before it.

The kids’ fantasy reminds me of The Parent Trap when the girls were trying to trick their mom into coming on the camping trip with their dad instead of Meredith. I haven’t seen the original, but it looks like there’s a camping trip in the original too, so this story is probably a play on that.

Ah! That house! I haven’t seen that house in a long time. I wonder where it is in real life.

Hang on. So they’re trying to help this girl who has amnesia (didn’t we just have that story a few episodes ago?), so they’ve recreated the house where she grew up… but how could they recreate the house if she doesn’t remember it? And why do the Shanes remember what the house looked like? Okay, I’m watching the intro again.

Alright, so there’s Mr. and Mrs. Shane. He’s a lawyer, so they’re rich, and they’re paying full price for their fantasy. But, Mr. Shane has one problem: Miss Jane Howell. She suffered amnesia when she was 13. She’s here with her fiance, Bill Jordan. This is Mr. Shane’s fantasy; he wants to find out who Jane is. “She might be the long-missing daughter of a rich rubber plantation owner named Jonathan Connors.” If she is, Mr. Shane will give her $30 million.

Yeah, no, that definitely doesn’t make sense. They didn’t explain what the Shanes have to do with Howell and Jordan, or what anybody has to do with Connors.

The house is a recreation of the Connors’ house, and apparently, Jane grew up there. Connors is dead. I have so many questions still, but I’m going to keep watching and maybe they’ll go away.

Roarke: The jeeps will return for you on Monday morning.

Ahh, I think this is the first time they’ve specifically mentioned a day of the week. So there we go; the guests do get the full day Sunday as part of their fantasy, and the final scene takes place on Monday — assuming all fantasies follow the same schedule. I know we will never get an episode like this, but I really really wanna know what they do on Fantasy Island during the week. I was googling stuff the other day and found there’s a Fantasy Island board game, and that got me thinking about making a Fantasy Island computer game, which, if I ever did, it would at least include some of the weekdays and tracking down guests and organizing events to take place on the island and recreating childhood homes.

Anyway. I still don’t get how the Shanes know Howell and Jordan. I guess they must have been Connors’ neighbours or something, since they recognized the Connors house. Or maybe they’re just a random couple who learned about this missing girl, and they’ve done lots of research on this mystery.

Evil Stepmother Grace Arnold: I knew there was something strange about a children’s camp that required the parents to visit. I mean, real camps are so parents can get rid of kids!

Omg, why is he killing the snake, wtf. That was completely unnecessary.

Miss Hogan: How can a girl choose between Robert Redford and Burt Reynolds?

I wish they’d continued with this gag, having random guests show up in the middle of the episode for no reason.

Tattoo: Boss, how do you do it?
Roarke: How… indeed…

What does that even mean.

Okay, so we already know it doesn’t rain or snow on Fantasy Island. What if Fantasy Island is Risa.

Tattoo: Do you have any idea how much it costs to rent a bear these days?

It sounds like Mr. Shane was Mr. Connors’ lawyer. But I still don’t know how he found Jane.

This girl is way, way too excited after she found her dead dog’s casket.

Ohhhh, okay, so that’s why Mr. Shane wants to give her the money; Mr. Connors left his fortune to his daughter, and Mr. Shane has been trying to find her so he can give her her inheritance. Maybe this is obvious and I’m just an idiot, but I kinda wish they’d just explained that upfront. I still don’t know how Shane found Jane though.

So Roarke basically kidnapped Jane and drove off.

Wow, okay, I stopped paying attention for a minute, and then suddenly Roarke comes running in all dishevelled and his suit torn up. He’s obviously acting, because why would Roarke let anyone do that to him, but it’s weird to see Roarke like… weak and vulnerable.

Roarke: They killed her.

Wat.

Ooh, the fiance is evil! I didn’t see that coming! Late Fantasy Island had no twists, so I don’t expect them here.