Jencyclopedia

Carol Lynley is a prostitute who wants to go on vacation and not be recognized by any of her former clients.
A racecar driver wants to re-create the crash that almost killed him.

Roarke: Uh, Tattoo, you have a smudge of something under your nose.
Tattoo: This is no smudge; I’m growing a mustache.
Roarke: A mustache, Tattoo? Really?
Tattoo: Yes, you know — all the great romantic figures, they all had mustaches: Clark Gable, Casanova, Burt Reynolds. Is something wrong, boss?
Roarke: Oh no no no no. I was just thinking of the poor ladies. They won’t have a chance now, will they?

I think this is the first time they’ve shown a good shot of the driver, and I’m pretty sure this guy is the same guy from the end of the series; not the guy who grew the mustache, the other guy.

[Roarke informs Tattoo that racecar driver Jack Kincaid is one of the guests.]
Tattoo: So that’s why we were so busy the last couple of weeks.

I’m not sure exactly what Tattoo means here, but maybe it will become clearer as the episode goes on (update: no, it didn’t). Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I think Tattoo’s referring to them being busy preparing for this fantasy, right? In which case, this is the only time I can think of that they’ve talked about preparing for fantasies, and what goes on when they aren’t actually granting the fantasies.

Also, it occurs to me that Tattoo must have very little to do with preparing fantasies, since he never knows who the guests are or what their fantasies are until Roarke explains it to him — unless one of the guests a friend of Tattoo’s and he’s helped arrange their visit. Like I suppose Roarke could be like “go find Jane Doe, and invite her to the island”, but he doesn’t tell Tattoo why Jane Doe needs to be on the island.

Tattoo: What’s her fantasy, boss?
Roarke: In part, just to spend her vacation with us.
Tattoo: Vacation? At these prices? There must be a dozen places where she can go for half-price.

I think there have been a few fantasies where people were coming ~just~ for a vacation, and I’ve always thought, yeah, that’s a pretty expensive vacation, so I’m glad Tattoo pointed this out.

Roarke: Well, Mr. Kincaid, we’ll be happy to show you what we’ve completed of your fantasy so far, but um, it will still be a couple of days before everything is ready.

Okay, so clearly Roarke’s up to something (when is he not up to something), because he’s never not been ready to fulfill a fantasy. And if it won’t be ready for a couple days, then this guy won’t be able to have his fantasy until at least Monday, right? He probably already has a flight booked and stuff, that’s not right. Although I’m sure Roarke would reimburse him if he had to.

Bill Fredericks: I’ve got Spider-Man back to ’73 and some very difficult-to-get copies of The Incredible Hulk.
Renee Lansing: No! Listen, if I were you, I’d keep that very quiet.

She says this line in a flirty way, but I think that’s actually good advice; they’ve only just met, and he’s already letting all of his geekiness show. You’re not gonna pick up chicks that way unless you’re at a convention.

Ugh, if you’re gonna wear an outfit all in one colour, why would you choose that colour? It’s like that army greeny beige, and it’s gross.

Carol Lynley’s golf cart goes off a cliff, but I thought the other fantasy was supposed to be the car accident fantasy. Anyway, there was a ledge there, so she woulda been fine even if the guy didn’t rescue her. I feel like he over complicated the rescue too; I don’t think she needed to climb over the car.

Ohh yeah, I forgot the guest quarters used to look totally different. The sets are one thing that I think they did better in the later seasons — at least until season seven. The other seasons’ sets have a look, but these houses and Roarke’s office here and just kinda there.

Tattoo: Tell me the truth, boss. Was that player he beat really Jimmy Connors?
Roarke: Tattoo, would I ever deceive a guest?
Tattoo: Does duck make quack-quack in the water?

They do this fantasy a lot: the husband wants to do something dangerous, and the wife tries to convince him to stop. And every time, I stop paying attention to this story. Have they ever done the woman wanting to do something dangerous, and the husband telling her to stop?

They had another rando guest with a tennis fantasy, and then one of the main stories had a scene on a tennis court, so that’s kind of confusing.

Roarke: Oh, my dear Miss Lansing. Wasn’t your real fantasy to see if you could change your… lifestyle? Change it despite the temptations a wealthy man like Roy Burke could provide? Change it enough so you could really be the type of woman a good, decent man like um, well, say Bill Fredricks could care for?

Eeee.

I don’t like that the guy knew she was a hooker all along, because it’s kind of implied that if he hadn’t known, he would have left her when he found out, because obviously she’s not a real ~lady~. But I’ll forgive it, because it turns out he had a fantasy as well, and his fantasy was her, because he met her a long time ago and fell in love with her.

Also, there was a season seven episode with almost exactly the same premise, but in that episode, the guy leaves her when he finds out. So I guess if I’d watched this series in order, maybe that would have been a more surprising ending. Actually, it was surprising anyway, because it’s not often the guests don’t get a happy ending. But wait, I don’t remember what happened at the end of that fantasy. Did she really not get a happy ending? That must be wrong.

Tattoo’s had his drawn-on mustache in scenes related to both fantasies, so I wonder if when they cut this episode up, maybe they leave one of those scenes out? Or leave it in with no explanation?

Roarke: Goodbye. And uh, I’m sorry, Miss Lansing, if I ever hurt such a lovely… lady.

Whhhat? Is he hesitating to call her a lady because she was a hooker?