Jencyclopedia

A man wants to pitch against baseball pros.
A couple wants to go back to ~the good old days~ boys liked girls and girls liked boys and the only person to swing both ways was Tarzan.

Oh man, this episode is full of real athletes. There’s gonna be some great acting this episode.

[Tattoo has a new camera that he uses to take pictures of pretty girls.]
Roarke: Uh, how much do you charge for your, uh, photographic services, Tattoo?
Tattoo: Charge? Boss, why do you always have to be so mercenary?

Love this. It’s also a direct callback to a line in a previous episode where Roarke called Tattoo “mercenary”.

Oh, so they do have leis. So why didn’t that lady get one last episode?

Roarke: The Tates are disenchanted with today’s permissive society. Their fantasy is one shared by a lot of people. They want to find a place where morality has not broken down and the good old-fashioned American values still prevail.

Sooo they want to Make America Great Again. Well, considering they’re on Fantasy Island, that’s not such a bad thing, because we know Roarke is going to teach them a lesson.

Man: Thee best hurry, Mistress Proctor. Dr. Whitfield will brook no delay. And all are expected. All.

I’m getting a “not of the body” vibe from this town. I mean, from the episode title, I know what’s going to happen here, but I still hope this story ends in an exploding computer.

Oh shit, I thought they weren’t allowed to do bat flips? I thought that was ~disrespectful~? Or is that allowed here because they’re acting? Or because they’re white?

The guy is worried he won’t be a very good pitcher against all these pros. Sounds like we need a magic object. Ah, there we go.

Ah ha ha, I just realized Leslie Nielsen and Ricardo Montalban were both in Naked Gun.

I wonder if the Tates are gonna use some future technology or knowledge and be accused of being witches.

Roarke: How’s Mr. Delaney doing?
Tattoo: So far, so good… he has not played yet.

They showed an extreme closeup of Roarke looking up twice, and I’m not sure what exactly was meant by it, but I guess it was something to do with god?

WTF, the baseball guy’s wife tells him his boss is here on Fantasy Island too, and the boss wants him to take part in a business meeting for a few hours. The guy tells his wife it’s not fair, they’re on vacation. As far as she knows, they’re there for a second honeymoon, but she’s still like “well, he is your boss”. What the heck lady. You’re hardly even spending time with him because he’s off playing baseball, and now you want him to go to work on your vacation. That’s messed up.

They’ve used a dissolve/dreamy transition between the fantasies a couple of times, and it’s kind of weird. They don’t use it for every transition between the fantasies, so I’m not sure what was going on there.

Oh no. This guy seriously quit his job because he thinks he has another job lined up with the Dodgers. He was right to quit, but it shoulda been because his boss is a jerk.

Roarke: Did you find the perfect morality and the simple life you longed for so very much?
Walter Tate: No. We found nothing but ignorance and intolerance.
Martha Tate: And a monstrous man who traded on fear to rule the people.
Roarke: Really? My, my. How much that sounds like our present world.

Aw, what a good lesson. In the end, they were like “well, every century has its problems”.

The car backed up instead of keeping driving forward, wat?

So there was no rando fantasy in the middle of this, which makes me kind of sad.

We also never found out what happened with the guy and the Dodgers coach/owner/whatever. He was supposed to have played another game, but that didn’t happen because he lost his power and wasn’t a good pitcher any more, but there shoulda been a quick scene where he said to the Dodgers guy like thanks, but I’ve got my own job and family, and I’m not cutout for the baseball life.

From my favourite IMDb reviewer:

People want to go to a moral society, its like listening to all these people into Democrat or republican voting nonsense. There was never a time people were good, there will never be a time people will be good . If someone tells you they are enlightened, stay the hell away from them. If someone tells you that voting a certain way will get you results, stay the hell away from them and try making a difference yourself.

Wow, I was sure this guy was a Trump supporter, so I’m surprised to read this.