Jencyclopedia

Connie Stevens wants to prove that Roarke is a fraud and Fantasy Island is a scam.
A guy wants to time travel to World War II to prove his brother wasn’t a coward.

This guy’s mustache and voice are both fake, right?

They’ve got magic rooms in the bungalows now too, apparently.

Roarke: Now, look at the photograph on the wall. Concentrate on it… because it was here, in this small Italian village, that your brother was last seen alive.

Add Italy to the Colonial Street / El Montono list (see also 5×15 “Save Sherlock Holmes”).

Christine Connelly: My research tells me that Mr. Roarke has his emotions totally under control at all times. Like all good con artists.
Roarke: Just what did your research entail, Miss Connelly?
Christine Connelly: Well, mainly, I just interviewed some of your clients, some of your guests that have been here before. Would you like to know how many? Eleven. Do you know how many dissatisfied customers you had? None.
Roarke: Well, then may I ask why you are here?
Christine Connelly: Well, because my experience tells me that there is no such thing as eleven satisfied customers. So I don’t know what you did, whether you drugged them, whether you hypnotized them, or maybe even both. But I intend to find out.

Well… he definitely does hypnotize people. And he does give out gum drops and perfumes and powders that come from plants that only grow on Fantasy Island, so he very well could be drugging them too. So she’s not incorrect.

It bothers me that she said “there is no such thing as eleven satisfied customers” because that’s obviously false, and what she meant to say was more like “there is no such thing as no dissatisfied customers”.

There are plants and a carpet in the hallway today.

They keep shooting from over this guy’s shoulder in this scene. Are they intentionally trying to make Roarke look short here? That makes no sense. This guy isn’t a threat to Roarke; he’s just a regular guest, as far as Roarke knows.

Tattoo: Boss, I’m worried. What if you can’t make his fantasy work?
Roarke: We do seem to be having our difficulties, don’t we, Tattoo?

They didn’t have any difficulties with Jay Michaels’ strongman fantasy, so I’m not sure this line makes sense. Also, I kind of don’t understand how it’s even possible for Roarke to have difficulties granting a fantasy. Like summoning a person to the island doesn’t usually seem to be a hard thing to do. Then again, maybe he just doesn’t grant fantasies when he can’t summon a person — in which case, why would he agree to grant this fantasy?

Ooh, have we ever seen that the road in front of the main house branches out like this? I really really should have started a map of Fantasy Island a long time ago.

I feel like the “Lost Platoon” segments are really long and the “Beautiful Skeptic” segments are really short.

I’ve never noticed these waiter outfits before. Yuck. What were they thinking with those skirts? The top is using the red and white colour scheme, so why not red or white skirts?

Roarke: Well, after all, the woman Mrs. Thomas thinks her husband is seeing… is you.
Christine Connelly: Me?!
Roarke: Well, from the way Mrs. Thomas acted in your bungalow, I thought it was quite obvious.

Can confirm it was obvious. If even I can figure it out, that means it’s very obvious.

Tattoo: When I told my aunt I was going to be on TV, she bought a video recorder.

Other than his infamous cousin Hugo, I think this is the only family member Tattoo has ever mentioned.

Tattoo: Boss, cheer up. I told him to send your aunt a cassette too.

Roarke has an aunt?! I feel like that’s unlikely; I think this is just Tattoo being silly. Although, if we go with the Roarke-is-a-Greek-god theory (which, I shouldn’t say “the” theory, because it’s just “my” theory), then I think that’s possible, because I think the Greek gods have whole family trees. But then I feel like an aunt would be a weird person to pick to send the cassette too — which brings me back to Tattoo’s just joking.

It looks like this is María Conchita Alonso’s first appearance in an English language show. I wasn’t paying attention to that fantasy (of course, because war fantasies 😴), but I don’t think she had any lines.

I feel like there have been way fewer “indeed”s this season. Remind me to make a graph.

• Guests:
  • Mr. Jack Oberstar, a very successful businessman from Denver, Colorado
  • Miss Christine Connelly, a reporter for Exposé America
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: Unfortunately, he may be risking his life… for nothing…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: no, he gives Tattoo a look for some reason
• Research:
  • Roarke: Yet, in my research to prepare your fantasy, I find the army accused him of abandoning his command under fire, deserting, and then engaging in black marketeering in Europe after the war.
• Warnings:
  • Roarke: I will grant your fantasy, Mr. Oberstar, provided you fully understand the very real danger to which you’ll be exposed by entering a wartime situation.
• Time travel: Jack Oberstar travels back in time to Italy in World War II.
• Competitions: Fantasy Island Strongest Man in the World
• Mini-fantasies:
  • Jay Michaels from Chandler, Ohio wants to be the strongest man in the world.
  • Frank Thomas wants to reconcile with his missing ex-wife, Connie Thomas.
• Magic object:
  • [Jay Michaels is about to lift weights in the strongman contest.]
    Roarke: Mr. Michaels, it is customary to chalk your hands first.
  • [Jay Michaels is about to get beat up, so Roarke gives him the magic chalk again.]
    Roarke: I was going to give this later to you as a souvenir, but perhaps you better use it instead.
• Roarke’s powers:
  • Frank Thomas: There’s no chance he could actually find my ex-wife… is there?
    Christine Connelly: If the FBI couldn’t get a line on her, how could Roarke possibly?
    [And who do you think shows up later in the episode?]
• Not what I said:
  • Roarke: I said it would be difficult. Not impossible.
    
• Costume change:
  • Roarke wears an army uniform in Jack Oberstar’s fantasy.
  • Roarke wears a black bowtie and Tattoo wears a white bowtie to the party.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: I warned you it would be a most dangerous fantasy, Mr. Oberstar.
  • Roarke: If indeed your brother did commit an act of cowardice, you cannot change that fact any more than you can change the fact that those men are going to die.
  • Roarke: You have seen the truth as it really happened, Mr. Oberstar, and now, it’s over.
• What you really, really want:
  • Roarke: I believe there is a, shall we say, secret part of your fantasy that you neglected to mention to me.
• Time travel rules:
  • Roarke: Mr. Oberstar, you cannot change the past. If indeed your brother did commit an act of cowardice, you cannot change that fact any more than you can change the fact that those men are going to die.
• Disappearing act:
  • Jack Oberstar: There’s got to be something that — Mr. Roarke? Mr. Roarke!
• Extending the fantasy:
  • Jack Oberstar: Don’t you see? If I can get Kenny’s dog tags, then I can prove the remains they found in the ruins were really his; then they’ll have to do something. They’ll have to investigate.
    Roarke: Alright. Two minutes.
• Money:
  • Walter Moreland: Do you further realize you spent almost a hundred thousand dollars proving that Fantasy Island is legitimate?
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Roarke
  • Connie Thomas’ arrival: That Guy
  • Jack Oberstar’s departure: I think this is “Ralph” again
  • Christine Connelly’s departure: That Guy
• IMDb notes:
  • Herb Edelman is credited as Herbert Edelman.
  • Connie Thomas is the full name of Frank Thomas’ ex-wife
  • Walter Moreland (or Morlin, or something like that, but definitely not Rawlin) is the correct name of Christine Connelley’s boss
  • Peter A. Galloway is the full name of the man who stole Ken Oberstar’s identity
• Age gap:
  • Connie Stevens: 44 / Ricardo Montalban: 62 = 18 years
  • Ruta Lee: 47 / Herb Edelman: 49 = 2 years