Jencyclopedia

A guy wants to break another guy out of a foreign prison to get the reward money.
An old woman wants to be young and healthy again so she can win a horseback riding competition.

This is another episode that my local station skipped over last year, so it’s completely new to me. I’m still confused as to why they skipped the previous two episodes, so I’m not expecting anything super offensive here (at least, not any more offensive than normal).

I wonder how much this series spent on red paint.

The first scene of the “Candy Kisses” fantasy only involved Tattoo, not Roarke, which is weird. Especially because there was a horse, and Roarke seems to like horses.

I don’t know whether to be annoyed or overjoyed when they keep re-using the same Columbia Ranch locations as totally different places. At least this time, it’s the convent, and not Colonial Street again:

Danny Clements: It’s the prison!
Roarke: A prison, yes.

Is this like when Murray booked the Flight of the Conchords at “a central park”?

Roarke: There is only one other rider on Fantasy Island who can touch you, and she will be your chief competitor tomorrow: Crystal Denning.
[That’s the little girl who Rowena met earlier, and whose horse is going to be sold if she doesn’t win the competition.]
Rowena Haversham: But you said she wouldn’t qualify.
Roarke: Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Haversham; I believe I said her uncle doubted that she would.

[Danny Clements has been captured and locked in a jail cell. Roarke, disguised as a prison guard, visits him and gives him advice on how to escape.]
Roarke: Improvise.
[Roarke leaves.]
Danny Clements: Ah, I get it; he left the door unlocked.

Pffft, these people don’t know Mr. Roarke.

[Danny Clements has just strapped Kodiak to some weather balloons.]
Danny Clements: Don’t worry; I checked the air currents. In about six hours, you’ll be coming down in United States territory.

I have no idea how I would even begin to calculate how long it would take to travel from point A to point B by weather balloon, so this doesn’t help me locate Fantasy Island.

However, it would appear Fantasy Island is not under United States jurisdiction, so it’s not Hawaii, but it does seem to be near Hawaii, and Hawaii is US territory, so either Fantasy Island is quite far from Hawaii or travelling by weather balloon is very inefficient.

Crystal Denning: You got the highest score ever recorded in this competition.

She got the only score ever recorded in this competition.

What?! There’s a guy sticking out of the front of the plane!

Okay, apparently this has been happening for a long time (possibly since the beginning of the series), and I just never noticed until now.

Roarke: Well, Mr. Clements, you don’t look happy this bright and cheerful morning.

Morning?! Early on, my theory was that guests arrived on Friday afternoon/evening, and their fantasy took place over Saturday and Sunday, and then they left on Monday. We’ve definitely had a few references to leaving on Monday, but nothing concrete about Fridays. It does seem like many fantasies — including both in this episode — do have a night scene in the middle, but no other night scenes, so it would appear that guests generally arrive on Saturday morning and depart on Monday morning.

The shots of the cars driving the guests to the dock in this episode seem to be exceptionally long.

Rowena Haversham: Well, what about it, Mr. Roarke? Will Candy Kisses be a champion? Does the riding crop have the same power once it leaves Fantasy Island?

Oh my god, are they actually going to answer this question?!

Roarke: Why, Miss Haversham, the riding crop has no special powers.
Rowena Haversham: It’s doesn’t? But I–
Roarke: The real power was in your gesture of love and generosity. Candy Kisses was always a champion.

Okay, that’s a lame explanation, but it’s a very Fantasy Island explanation. And yes, I’ve always felt that the objects don’t really have any special powers themselves, but Roarke uses them because it’s more believable I guess, and so that he’s not revealing his true powers to so many people. He probably analyzes each guest to try to figure out whether they would be likely to believe in a magic object, or if they’d be more susceptible to hypnosis.

Anyway, Rowena has become partners with Crystal and her uncle Jim. What is Rowena gonna do when Crystal wants to see Rowena’s “niece” again? Or when Jim sees a picture of Rowena as a young woman and realizes that she’s the same woman he made out with on Fantasy Island?

Roarke always seems to say “thank you” after a woman kisses him, which seems awkward to me. It’s like when a waiter says “enjoy” and you say “you too!”

Charlene Keel, who wrote “Candy Kisses”, wrote a comment on the YouTube video of this episode, so that’s pretty cool.

• Guests:
  • Miss Rowena Haversham from Kentucky
  • Mr. Danny Clements from good old Boston
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Tattoo: That should be a snap.
    Roarke: Sometimes the simplest things, Tattoo… are not so simple after all…
  • Tattoo: Millions of people have that dream, boss.
    Roarke: Yes, but Mr. Clements is willing to gamble… everything… to make his dream a reality.
    Tattoo: Everything?
    Roarke: Everything… including his life…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: I keep forgetting to check for this, because it’s been disappointing lately. And once again, he’s not ominous at all here.
• Money:
  • Danny Clements: The government is willing to give a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar reward to whoever breaks Kodiak out.
    [This would seem to indicate he paid less than that for his fantasy.]
• Neighbouring islands:
  • Roarke: Your destination, Mr. Clements, a modern day Devil’s Island, deep in the heart of a revolution-torn foreign power. The island is located some three hundred miles to the southwest.
• Hypnosis:
  • Roarke: Take the picture, Mr. Clements. Look at it very carefully. Study every detail. Concentrate, Mr. Clements. Think of nothing else. Nothing.
• Disappearing act:
  • Roarke: They won’t hesitate to shoot you down.
    [Danny Clements turns around to look at them. He turns back.]
    Danny Clements: Mr. Roarke–
• Are you sure?
  • Roarke: Are you absolutely sure that winning the blue ribbon is what you want more than anything else?
• Recurring phrases:
  • Rowena Haversham: Now, when does my fantasy begin?
  • Gina: If you should betray us, or try to leave without us, I warn you, one scream will bring the guards and very quick death to you.
  • oarke: My dear friends, welcome to these two exciting days of the Fantasy Island horse show.
  • Roarke: I’m afraid your fantasy is over, Miss Haversham.
• Magic object / hypnosis:
  • Roarke: Take this riding crop, Miss Haversham. Now grip it tightly. That’s right. Close your eyes. Remember your last ride. […] Let the memory of that day flow through you. Concentrate… concentrate… that’s right. No, not the accident. The joy of riding. The air rushing through your hair.
• Costume change:
  • Roarke wears a black suit and tan coat in Rowena Haversham’s fantasy.
  • Roarke wears a white tuxedo and black bowtie to the party.
  • Roarke wears a prison guard uniform in Danny Clement’s fantasy.
  • Roarke wears a red and black jacket and black bowler hat, and Tattoo wears a blue and black jacket and black bowler hat to the horse show.
• Not what I said:
  • Rowena Haversham: But you said she wouldn’t qualify.
    Roarke: Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Haversham; I believe I said her uncle doubted that she would.
• ‘Cause I gotta have faith:
  • Crystal Denning: Mr. Roarke, she’s terrific; I’ll lose for sure.
    Roarke: You must have faith in yourself, Miss Denning, and in Candy Kisses.
• Can’t help you:
  • Danny Clements: Mr. Roarke, you gotta help me.
    Roarke: Oh no no no no, that’s out of the question. You must do it yourself. Think up a new plan. Improvise.
• Competitions: Fantasy Island horse show
• Changing the fantasy:
  • Rowena Haversham: I just can’t rob Crystal of the joy of saving Candy Kisses herself. Mr. Roarke, I want to change my fantasy.
    Roarke: Change your fantasy? No, I’m afraid that’s not possible, Miss Haversham. However, you should remember that the key to winning is in that special riding crop you’re carrying.
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Danny Clements with new girlfriend Gina
  • Rowena Haversham with new partners Crystal and Jim Denning
• All you need is love:
  • Roarke: Why, Miss Haversham, the riding crop has no special powers.
    Rowena Haversham: It’s doesn’t? But I–
    Roarke: The real power was in your gesture of love and generosity. Candy Kisses was always a champion.
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Roarke
  • Danny Clements’ departure: That Guy
  • Rowena Haversham’s departure: a new guy! he definitely looks like an “Eddie”
• Age gap:
  • Morgan Brittany: 31 / Ben Murphy: 40 = 9 years
  • BarBara Luna: 45 / Richard Jaeckel: 56 = 11 years
  • Ann Turkel: 36 / John Beck: 39 = 3 years
• IMDb notes:
  • I think Crystal and her uncle Jim’s last name is Denning, not Danning.
  • Delores Cantú is credited as Dolores Cantu.