Jencyclopedia

A man fell in love with old pictures of Audrey Landers, but she’s been dead since 1929, so he wants to go back in time to meet her, but he ends up in House of Wax.
Laraine Stephens isn’t taken seriously as an actress, so Roarke has her hang out with a time travelling Shakespeare.

When I first saw this episode, my dad was watching too, and he was like “Is that Mike Brady?” I didn’t think it was him, but it was. The fact that I thought there was no way that was him makes me think Robert Reed was a pretty good actor.

Anyway, “Room and Bard”? There needs to be an emoji that’s like 🙄 but also 😁.

I haven’t been paying attention to the dancing girls this season, because I thought the shot was always the same in season 6, but this shot was different. 😭 Now I have to go back and check all the previous episodes. (I even noticed the different shot when I first saw this episode last year!)

Tattoo: Why all the magazines?

Tattoo: Boss, he’s in love a with a ninety years old woman?

Angela Markham: I was there; why am I back here?
Roarke: How strange. Perhaps there is a counter-current in the timestream.

That’s a new one.

Angela Markham: If you don’t pull this off, Mr. Roarke, after all your promises, remember this… hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Tattoo: That’s not Shakespeare!

First off, I could have sworn that was Shakespeare; I had to look it up to make sure.

Angela’s comment is a bit overdramatic; we never saw Roarke making all these promises to her.

I like how Tattoo was like “OMG is that Shakespeare???” and Mr. Roarke was just like “Yep. Sup, Will?”

Mr. Roarke tells Andy Durant that “timing is crucial”, and he isn’t supposed to light the candle for half an hour. But of course, Andy doesn’t listen, so he’s transported to the past, and a little while later, he runs into Mr. Roarke, and Mr. Roarke tells him he should have waited, but it really made no difference, because he ended up in exactly the same place, just a little further down the road. And considering what happens later, Roarke certainly intended for Andy to light the candle early and show up in the “wrong” place; otherwise, Andy wouldn’t be able to figure out what was going on.

Tattoo showing Shakespeare how to use a ~word processor~:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
William Shakespeare
Can work this thing too

It was pretty obvious, even to a lunkhead like me, that Kragen was murdering people and turning them into wax figures.

After Andy has been knocked out and Pamela has been kidnapped, Roarke shows up, and he’s like “hey, by the way, I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I found this wax on the floor, isn’t that funny?” So of course, Andy realizes that the wax figure guy kidnapped Pamela. When I first wrote about this episode, I was like “come on, Roarke”, but now I know that’s just Roarke’s M.O (for another stereotypical example, see 4×17 “Also Rans”).

There’s a closeup of William Shakespeare saying “to be or not to be”, very serious… and then he takes a drink from a can of beer, and it’s just delightful.

William Shakespeare: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of… Frankie Catalina the Earl of whatsit.

Angela Markham is a regular Sam Beckett, setting right all of Shakespeare’s wrong titles.

“Ye Olde Popcorn”?!

[The Earl of Norfolk has just demanded Tattoo take him to Shakespeare.]
Tattoo: No speak de English. Parlez-vous français?
[The Earl threatens Tattoo with a sword.]
Tattoo: On the other hand, why don’t you follow me?

Angela Markham: Surely one of such noble birth shouldn’t have to resort to base violence to settle a dispute.
Earl of Norfolk: No? …Why not?
William Shakespeare: Thou art using twentieth century logic on a sixteenth century man! In our time, men were violent and proud of it; in your time, men are violent and ashamed of it.

Hmm… I doubt that. I don’t think people today are ashamed of being violent.

Shakespeare using a mixer as a weapon. 👌

It’s a bit weird that the “Tallowed Image” fantasy ends with the bad guy being knocked into the hot wax; there’s no “your fantasy is over” type scene. I feel like there’s usually a more definitive end to most fantasies.

I like her outfit.

This episode had a great freeze frame.

• Guests:
  • Mr. Andy Durant, a high school track coach from a small town in Vermont
  • Angela Markham, a famous movie star
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Tattoo: Boss, how you gonna do that?
    Roarke: By sending him to Victorian England, where not only Miss Gentry, but uh, a great danger awaits him…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: no, he looks at Tattoo for some reason
• Magic object:
  • Andy Durant: How do I meet her?
    Roarke: With this.
    [Roarke hands him a business card.]
    Andy Durant: This is blank.
    Roarke: Oh, only for the moment, I assure you. When you have need, one side will help you find Miss Gentry, and the other side will introduce you to her.
• Rules:
  • Roarke: Your fantasy, Mr. Durant, will begin when you light this candle. However, we’re a bit early, and timing is crucial in these matters. Extremely crucial. Tattoo and I will be back in exactly thirty minutes.
  • Roarke: If anything happens to Mr. William Shakespeare while he’s here on Fantasy Island, some of the greatest poetry and plays of all time may never be written.
• Time travel:
  • Andy Durant travels to London, England in 1893.
  • Angela Markham briefly travels to 17th century England.
  • William Shakespeare and the Earl of Norfolk travel to the present day.
• Hypnosis:
  • Roarke: Now, if you’ll close your eyes… concentrate on 17th century England… the costumes… the idiosyncrasies and customs of those days of long ago…
• Technobabble:
  • Roarke: How strange… perhaps there is a counter-current in the timestream.
  • Roarke: Apparently, we tuned into Mr. Shakespeare at a time of a life and death crisis; the Earl of Norfolk was about to run his sword through Mr. Shakespeare’s chest. Well, naturally, the bard’s desire to escape was greater than your desire to go back, and since the connection was open at that precise moment… presto, here he is.
• Religion:
  • William Shakespeare: Little sirrah, this place here — is it heaven or hell?
    Tattoo: Neither. Like the boss said, you are on Fantasy Island.
• Disguise:
  • Roarke shows up in Andy Durant’s fantasy as an olde English police officer.
  • Roarke wears an Elizabethan costume to Angela Markham’s fantasy.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Andy Durant: Mr. Roarke! Am I glad to see you. Listen, I lit that candle, and I ended up in some weird wax museum.
    Roarke: I warned you about the need for proper timing, didn’t I, Mr. Durant?
  • Angela Markham: This whole fantasy is going up in flames.
    Roarke: Indeed? Oh, I’m sorry, Miss Markham.
  • Tattoo: Well, boss, it looks like our revels are now ended.
    Roarke: Indeed, Tattoo.
• Disappearing act:
  • Andy Durant: Did you see the — Mr. Roarke?
• Can’t help you:
  • Angela Markham: I just wanted to prove I’m a good actress. That’s all. You know, I spent fifteen years making other people believe it. All I want to do is prove it to myself, you know?
    Roarke: Oh, I know, but I can’t interfere in your fantasy. I’m sorry.
  • William Shakespeare: With Norfolk’s persuasions, the Queen will see my head taken from me. She has said as much.
    Roarke: I’m sorry, but I… [gestures vaguely]
• Magic:
  • William Shakespeare: Norfolk! How came-st thee here?
    Earl of Norfolk: Sorcery, as thou know full well.
  • Earl of Norfolk: Thou has survived for the moment, blaggard, through the wizardry of these white-garmented sorcerers.
• Reminders:
  • Angela Markham: Well, then we’re going to have to convince the Earl not to kill him. But how?
    Roarke: Do I need to remind you that you are an actress?
• He’s dead, Jim: Frederick Kragen is knocked into the pool of hot wax.
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Roarke
  • While Tattoo is chasing a goose: Roarke
  • To break up Shakespeare and Norfolk’s fight: Roarke
  • Andy Durant’s departure: Wally
  • Angela Markham’s departure: That Guy
• Age gap:
  • Audrey Landers: 26 / Ray Buktenic: 39 = 13 years