Jencyclopedia

Carol Lynley wants to go back to the good old days when ~women were treated well~, so she hangs out with John Saxon disguised as Cyrano.
A man who is a terrible magician wants to be a good magician.

Oh, hey, what? Julie wears pants in the opening? I could have sworn she had a skirt?!

Yeah, look, here she is in 5×1:

I wonder why they did that.

Whoaaa, Wally is already there with the car waiting for them? Craaazy.

Umm… there’s no dialogue about why Tattoo isn’t there today?

Are they cutting out the opening shenanigans? I could have sworn that every time I saw season 5 episodes on TV, there were opening scenes explaining why either Julie or Tattoo wasn’t there that day.

Roarke: Mr. Potter is an amateur conjurer.

It’s kinda interesting that he calls him a “conjurer” rather than a “magician”; in season 1, I feel like there were a lot of references to magic, and it seems like they are very specifically not calling this guy a magician here… but then, the segment is called “The Magician”, so… that doesn’t make sense.

Roarke: Would you care to guess her profession, Julie?
Julie: Movie star? Maybe an actress who wants to write the great American novel?
Roarke: Would you believe… a bus driver from Philadelphia?
Julie: Really?
Roarke: Yes.
Julie: A bus driver?
Roarke: Well, why not? She is one of that new breed of women who believe they can do most things as well as men.

That last line is a bit unnecessary; the use of the word “believe” makes it seem like Roarke does not share the same belief — which, yes, we already know Roarke is sexist, but I like Roarke, so I like to imagine he’s not, so I don’t like it when he says things that prove he is.

Roarke: And therein lies her problem. She has found there is an unexpected price to such beliefs, and she hungers for the old days when women were treated with grace and chivalry.

How many damn fantasies do we have to have that are just women going “ohhh I want to go back to the good old days, WHEN MY HUSBAND COULD BEAT ME WITH ABSOLUTELY NO REPERCUSSIONS”???

This is exactly the same premise as 3×20 “One Million B.C.” — why do we need this exact same story again?

Julie: What’s her fantasy, to wear a crinoline?

Roarke: No, Julie. Miss Denton’s dream is simply to meet the most exciting, gallant, and virile man in the world.
Julie: Well! I can certainly sympathize with that fantasy.
Roarke: Can you, Julie? Well.

Again, how old is Julie supposed to be?

Marjorie Denton: I’m so grateful to you, Mr. Roarke. If you only knew how desperate I am to be treated like a woman.

They could have made this fantasy work. She’s a bus driver,  which is seen as a stereotypically male job. If she was tired of always being treated like “one of the boys” at work, and her fantasy was to wear a pretty dress and get a makeover and have the guy she has a crush on see her in a different light and fall in love with her… that would still feel like a typical Fantasy Island episode, but it wouldn’t involve her asking Roarke to take her back to the good ol’ days when women were treated even worse than they are now.

Marjorie Denton: To find a man with real manners.

Manners seems to be the main thing that Fantasy Island thinks women want. But, to be fair, the main thing Fantasy Island thinks men want is “a perfect ten” (7×13 “Skin Deep”), so at least both sexes get equally bad treatment.

But if I’m making a list of things I want in a man, “manners” isn’t even on the list. That’s like making a list of things I want in a house and having “a bathroom”. Like… it should be a given that he’s not a jerk.

Also, going back in time is not gonna find you a man with manners, because people have never had manners; time period has nothing to do with how good or bad people are.

Actual shot of the magic door in this episode:

Roarke: Remember, Miss Denton. You are going back to a time when human life was held very cheaply. Although men gave special attention to the ladies — that trait you so admire — women were also almost slaves… subject to many restrictions, and sometimes… great cruelty.
Marjorie Denton: You can’t frighten me, Mr. Roarke.

This should pretty much be a standard disclaimer any time a woman or person of colour or any minority requests a time travel fantasy.

I just hope the lesson in the end for Marjorie is not “Boy, women used to have it really bad back in the old days. I guess I should stop complaining about how I’m treated today.”

Roarke: Then step through that door, Miss Denton.

What?! There’s another door in the magic room? That seems unnecessary.

Also… what is the magic fog anyway? Nanobots?

I haven’t been paying much attention to either fantasy, but I’m not sure if it’s because the fantasies are legit boring, or if it’s because I’m just very interested in backing up my hard drive.

The music during this swordfight scene reminds me of the TNG theme song — which they very well could have ripped off, because it was also the theme song from TMP, which was released in 1979.

Um… seriously? You couldn’t get this girl an actual outfit?

Roarke: Unfortunately, your request didn’t specify a lasting relationship.

“But here’s the guy you fell in love with anyway; he’s taking the same plane home as you.”

• Julie’s outfit: pants
• Where’s Tattoo?
  
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: I don’t know his name, so I’m going to call him “Billy”; he turns into Wally when they arrive at the dock though.
  • Timothy Potter’s departure: I don’t know his name, so I’m going to call him “Steve”
  • Marjorie Denton’s departure: I don’t know his name, so I’m going to call him “Evan”
• Guests:
  • Mr. Timothy Potter from Cleveland, Ohio, an amateur conjurer
  • Miss Marjorie Denton, a bus driver from Philadelphia
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: You might say his sleight of hand is slight, indeed, and his magic… tragic.
  • Julie: What a stunning lady.
    Roarke: Yes, indeed.
  • Roarke: I warned you to study well, Mr. Potter.
  • Roarke: I must warn you, mademoiselle.
  • Timothy Potter: Well, then it would have to be on the stage. And maybe the audience is important too.
    Roarke: Oh, indeed.
  • Roarke: Miss Denton. You must come with me now. Your fantasy is over.
  • Roarke: The young lady was only a part of your fantasy, Mr. Potter, which is now over.
• Julie has no faith:
  • Roarke: That’s why his fantasy is to be not just a good magician… but to be the very best.
    Julie: I don’t know about that…
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: Unfortunately, to fulfill her fantasy will expose her to dangers she cannot anticipate…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: not really, he just looks a bit confused
• Magic door, magic room, magic fog: Marjorie Denton enters the magic room to begin her fantasy.
• Time travel: Marjorie Denton travels back to the time of Cyrano and the Marquis de Sade.
• Magic object:
  • Roarke: The key unlocks that trunk, which is full of assorted paraphernalia, items of wardrobe, but most importantly, personal journals which contained the secrets of all the greatest magic tricks of all time.
• Locations:
  • The Two Bottles Tavern
  • Fantasy Island Theatre
• Roarke in disguise: He wears a brown hood, sort of like a monk.
• Can’t help you:
  • Marjorie Denton: But it’s only a fantasy, Mr. Roarke. Can’t you do something?
    Roarke: Alas, once a fantasy is underway, it’s out of my hands.
• ‘Cause I gotta have faith:
  • Roarke: But have faith in yourself, Miss Denton, and in your love.
• All you need is love:
  • Roarke: Love is the overwhelming force of the universe. It transcends all barriers and overcomes all obstacles.
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Timothy Potter with new girlfriend Suva
  • Marjorie Denton with new boyfriend Monsieur Berandt Sabatier
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • Roarke: Before you go, may I introduce Monsieur Berandt Sabatier, a college professor who loves Cyrano’s work as much as you and wanted to relive his last day.
• Age gap:
  • Carol Lynley: 39 / John Saxon: 45 = 6 years
  • Carol Lynley: 39 / Lloyd Bochner: 57 = 18 years
  • Judy Landers: 23 / Bart Braverman: 35 = 12 years