Jencyclopedia

A comedian wants his imaginary redneck family to be real.
Tattoo invents Tinder, and Misty Rowe and another woman get matched with Mr. Roarke.

This one might be my favourite episode yet (and it has nothing to do with a character being named Jenny.

This is another pants/no-Julie-at-all episode. I think they used an old shot for the opening scene, because Tama is picking Roarke and Tattoo up from the main house instead of Wally.

When I first saw this episode, and I saw the “Smiles, everyone. Smiles!” shot was a wider shot that included the dancing girls, I wondered if maybe Ricardo Montalban threw a fit about having to say that line every episode, and so they didn’t have a shot of it that week… but I doubt that’s what happened, because I now know they’ve used that shot in a few episodes.

Roarke: That’s curious.
Tattoo: What is, boss?
Roarke: Those two young ladies. I don’t recall that they were listed in the flight manifest.
Tattoo: Oh, I know them, boss. The first lady is Claudia Mills, and the other one is Harriet Wilson.
Roarke: Miss Claudia Mills and Miss Harriet Wilson. How interesting that you should know them.
Tattoo: You know I always say that marriage is the most sacred of all human institution?
Roarke: Yeeesss, Tattoo…?
Tattoo: Well, they are here to get married.
Roarke: Oh?
Tattoo: The only problem, they don’t know their husband yet.
Roarke: Could it somehow be that you are involved in arranging such a meeting?

This is the first time that Roarke hasn’t been overly mad at Tattoo for arranging a fantasy behind his back… but I’ve seen this episode before, so I know Roarke basically spends the rest of the episode being mad at Tattoo.

Tattoo: Well, they are here to get married.
Roarke: Oh?

When I first saw this episode, I actually thought there was a chance we might have had our first gay couple on the show. But Present Me knows that is never happening in the original series.

They are really poking fun at Tattoo’s accent this episode.

Bo Gillette: It’s like you said, Mr. Roarke. I’ve been doing that act for ten years, and my family hasn’t come alive yet.
Roarke: Ah, but this… is Fantasy Island, Mr. Gillette.

We haven’t had a “this is Fantasy Island” in a while, so I’m always happy when we get one of those again.

Roarke: As you wish, Mr. Gillette.

Ooh, I wonder if this is becoming a catch phrase; Roarke said the same thing in 5×11 “House of Dolls”.

Oh wow, Tattoo’s car. We haven’t seen that for a while.

Haha, Claudia is wearing the same dress as the girl in 5×12 “Magic Camera”.

I wish I knew how punch card programming worked. I feel like they probably did it wrong though, because there are bits that are punched out that don’t seem like they’re supposed to be punched out, like next to “Mr. Roarke” and on “multiple document card”.

Tattoo: Oy vey… I think… I just got fired.

Tattoo: What am I going to do? How am I going to leave the island without the boss seeing me? … I’ve got it. Swimming lessons… yeah.

This line is funny, but also, good continuity! They established that Tattoo couldn’t swim in 4×2 “The Mermaid Returns”.

Roarke’s calendar is on the wrong day again, so I think it had to have just been a fluke in 5×14 “Daddy’s Little Girl”.

Claudia Mills: Oh, Mr. Roarke! Do you think that I could be more informal? I mean, now that we’re going to be married.
Roarke: Oh, why, of course, Claudia. Of course.
Claudia Mills: You do have a first name.
Roarke: Oh yes. Yes, indeed, I do… Tattoo!

I think this is the first time anyone has mentioned Roarke having a first name. It seems weird that it’s taken five years.

You could interpret this as him saying that Tattoo is his name too. Obviously that’s not what he meant though, and that would be really stupid if that was actually his name. Tattoo Roarke. Ffff.

I’ve been waiting for the first appearance of a particular white chair that showed up a lot in the later seasons. The chair seemed to be made of a heart pattern. I wonder if this is the chair I remember? I thought it was a more obvious heart pattern though, and I thought it was a chair not a bench.

Roarke: Tattoo is my associate in charge of weddings.

I think Roarke is just making this up for Harriet’s benefit, but I wonder if he’s not.

I feel like Mr. Roarke was a little bit too convincing with Harriet. I think he might have been into her.

Wow! This might be the widest shot we’ve had of the side of the main house.

When I first watched this episode, I missed a few scenes, and so I didn’t hear Bo’s family coming up with their plan, but when his cousin tried to seduce him, I thought it was super predictable that that was gonna happen. But seeing the full episode, they obviously weren’t trying to hide what they were going to do, so I guess I’m not as smart as I thought I was.

Ambrose Tuttle: As I recall from her profile, Miss Mills was the bouncy, All-American type girl.

That’s kinda creepy that he just knew that without looking it up.

Ambrose Tuttle: I just wanted him to know that my computer was acting up again.
Claudia Mills: Computer? What do you mean, acting up?
Ambrose Tuttle: I don’t know if it’s the CRT or the memory interface. I’m sorry; I know all this technical language doesn’t mean anything to you.
Claudia Mills: For your information, I graduated from a systems analysis class. I love computers.
Ambrose Tuttle: No kidding? Gee, I hope this doesn’t sound real dumb or anything, but I built my computer myself. If you want to, maybe you’d like to take a look at it.

I didn’t call the blonde chick being into computers. That’s neat.

Who are these people, and why is Roarke eating with them?

Tattoo: But boss, you can help me! I always help you!

Tattoo’s got a point. Although, Roarke has a right to be upset with him this time.

Roarke: You must keep foremost in your mind that if you do not succeed in fulfilling the fantasies of those two young ladies, you may give Fantasy Island a very bad reputation, maybe irreparable.

Mr. Roarke is worried the girls are gonna leave bad reviews on Yelp.

Jenny Casey: I’m sorry, Bo. I don’t believe anyone can do what you’re sayin’; not even Mr. Roarke.

The “not even Mr. Roarke” line doesn’t make any sense; she’s never seen Roarke do anything extraordinary.

Jenny takes him back way too easily. Bo tells her his family is fictional, and suddenly everything is okay… but that still doesn’t change the fact that he was making out with his imaginary cousin a few minutes ago.

The first time I watched this episode, I wrote about how horrible Bo’s outfit was, and I said I actually made this face:

But now, I actually don’t think it’s that bad. Maybe I’m just more used to the bad ’80s fashions after having seen most of the series.

Bo’s family went up on the stage, and then they disappeared right in front of the audience. That seems like a bad idea for Roarke to have that happen in front of all those people, but maybe the audience just assumes it’s some kind of trick, like Pepper’s ghost.

WTF. Harriet goes to the main house and knocks on the front door. Roarke is lounging around in his office, and he says “yes, come in” and she enters through the office door. The front door is clearly brown. The office door is clearly white. The office door clearly leads to another room, not outside. W. T. F. Why would they do this to me. Why not just show her walking in the house, and then we hear someone knocking at the office door.

Oh god. I need to stop drinking when watching this show. I nearly choked at Roarke’s face after Harriet told him she couldn’t marry him.

Roarke did a great job selling the break-ups. All his facial expressions in that short amount of time were perfect. I kept wanting him to throw in a line like “I don’t know how I will ever go on without you” or something like that; I feel like there must have been a gag like this in The Monkees once, but I can’t think of it.

• Julie’s outfit: pants
• Where’s Julie?
  
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Tama, and then he turns into Wally
  • Bo Gillette’s departure: That Guy
  •  Claudia Mills and Harriet Wilson’s departure: Wally
• Guests:
  • Mr. Bo Gillette, Tattoo’s favourite comedian; with his fiancee, Miss Jenny Casey
  • Miss Claudia Mills and Miss Harriet Wilson
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: His colourful west Texas relatives are purely imaginary, Tattoo — a fact he keeps a closely guarded secret.
    Tattoo: But why, boss?
    Roarke: You will find out… in due time…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: not really; he looks skeptically at Tattoo
• Recurring phrases:
  • Bo Gillette: It’s like you said Mr. Roarke. I’ve been doing that act for ten years, and my family hasn’t come alive yet.
    Roarke: Ah, but this… is Fantasy Island, Mr. Gillette.
  • Claudia Mills: You do have a first name.
    Roarke: Oh yes. Yes, indeed, I do.
  • Tattoo: Boss, I did it! I told you I could do it.
    Roarke: Yes, you did indeed, Tattoo. Yes.
• Warning:
  • Roarke: You must realize that once your family becomes real… they will be precisely that. Real people. With minds and motives of their own, over which you will have no control whatsoever.
• Roarke’s powers: Bo Gillette does his comedy act, describing his imaginary redneck family. Roarke watches and narrows his eyes, which brings the family to life.
• First name basis: Roarke calls Claudia Mills and Harriet Wilson by their first names
• Locations:
  • The Ideal Mate Encounter Service
  • Twin Falls
• Hypnosis:
  • Tattoo: I’ve got an idea. Follow me. Why don’t you sit down there? Now, look at me in the eyes.
    Claudia Mills: Why are you looking at me like that?
    Tattoo: Oh, it’s something that I saw the boss do many times.
    Claudia Mills: Oh.
    Tattoo: Now, watch my eyes. Concentrate…
• Age gap:
  • Vicki Lawrence: 32 / Jimmy Dean: 53 = 21 years
  • Linda Thompson: 31 / Jimmy Dean: 53 = 22 years
  • Misty Rowe: 29 / Ricardo Montalban: 61 = 32 years
  • Laurie Walters: 35 / Ricardo Montalban: 61 = 26  years
  • Misty Rowe: 29 / Skip Stephenson: 41 = 12 years
  • Laurie Walters: 35 / Russ Francis: 28 = 7 years
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Harriet Wilson with new husband “Boardwalk” Bryan Sims
  • Claudia Mills with new boyfriend Ambrose Tuttle