Jencyclopedia

A comedian wants to be a comedian.
A woman blames Mr. Roarke for her husband’s death, and she wants to find out what happened.

Tattoo: Boss, she’s a foxy lady!
Roarke: Foxy? Now really, Tattoo… but you may be right… in more ways than you can imagine…

So um… I remember a bit about this fantasy, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t turn into a fox, so I feel like that’s misleading.

Tattoo just went to the hidden corner of the office and retrieved a magic boater hat, so maybe there’s a closet there. It’s like the mysterious door in the Monkees’ pad that’s sometimes a closet and sometimes an exit.

When I first saw this episode, I thought the burlesque fantasy involved time travel, so I was confused when Tom showed up at the Fantasy Island bar later. This time though, I caught that Roarke mentioned a burlesque revival show.

Do you think there are flies on Fantasy Island? Roarke must constantly be bombarded by bugs, because he always leave his patio door open.

[There’s a photograph of a man.]
Vanessa Walgren: That’s my husband, Michael. He came here a month ago to have a fantasy and died.

Even when I watched this episode last year, I could guess that he didn’t really die… but while I know that guests never die (except for 2×7 “The Tiger”, but I think that’s the only time — oh wait, and 3×7 “The Wedding”, but that’s special), not everyone knows that.

Roarke: Very well. I accept the challenge — on the condition that if I am still alive when the weekend is over, you promise to give up any further ideas of revenge and go home.
Vanessa Walgren: Agreed.

Yeah, if my husband died at some resort, and the manager said this to me, I’d be like hell no, I want justice for my husband, no matter how long it takes. Although, I also wouldn’t put a bounty on the manager’s head, so.

Special effects. 👌

Abby Boudreau: I was hoping maybe you’d buy me a drink.
Tom Vail: How long will it take you to change?
Abby Boudreau: Ten minutes.
Tom Vail: I’ll be waiting.

Okay, but… you’re gonna change too, right?

When I first saw this episode and when we first see Tattoo wearing his outfit for the friend-or-foe competition, I thought he was dressed up like a cowboy or something so he could protect Mr. Roarke.

Was “friend-or-foe” a thing in the ’80s? Did everyone just understand what that meant? Once they started playing it, I was like okay, I’ve seen this before, but I didn’t know that’s what it was called. Wikipedia doesn’t have an article about this activity under “Friend or Foe”, and I have no idea what to search for to find the actual name, because “game where you shoot bad things and avoid good things” isn’t cutting it.

Wh–wh–where is this?!

Wow! They’re actually filming back at the real Queen Anne Cottage! Well, technically the Coach Barn.

Roarke: Get off my island, Mr. Powers. Now!

I want an island just so I can say this to people.

I don’t understand how every time a woman jumps on a man to make another woman jealous, the man always wraps his arms around her? Like… maybe don’t do that? (See also 5×17 “Funny Man”.)

I should have been keeping track of how many people have wanted to kill Roarke. Let’s see, how many times was Michelle Phillips on the show?

Vanessa Walgren: Stop acting like a saint. You’re not a saint; you’re just a man. You bleed, Mr. Roarke. And if you can bleed, you can also die.

Roarke actually looks kind of surprised that he can bleed.

Vanessa Walgren: There wasn’t even a body I could bury.

Tattoo: Mrs. Walgren, you’re one hour early.
Vanessa Walgren: Yes, I know. I want to check my chute before the jump. Whew.
Tattoo: Are you alright?
Vanessa Walgren: It’s awfully hot in here.
Tattoo: Mm-hmm.
Vanessa Walgren: Oh!
[She “faints”.]
Tattoo: Mrs. Walgren? Mrs. Walgren? Uh, women.

Tattoo should know better than to leave Roarke’s parachute alone in a room with a woman who wants to kill him.

This is apparently the Fantasy Island Air Operations building… but I want to pretend this is the main house. Like, when I make my map of the main house, that’s what the stairs are gonna look like.

Vanessa said Roarke should jump with her because “you’ll be able to judge the skydiving event much better from up there”. Well, I don’t know exactly how you judge a skydiving contest, but it seems like it would have something to do with where people land, which is actually harder to see from the plane. And Roarke didn’t look like he was doing any judging when Vanessa did her jump.

I have quite an extensive collection of pictures of Fantasy Island signs, but I don’t see any sign that exactly matches the one in the background. They do use this style of sign quite frequently since at least the beginning of season 4. And now I really wanna find out where that Fantasy Island Theatre building is, because it’s been Fantasy Iceland (4×3), Fantasy Sports Arena (4×10), Fantasy Island Theatre (5×13, 5×20, 5×21), and Fantasy Island Pavilion (6×7).

(There’s another Fantasy Island Theatre too, which was shown in 6×2 “Dancing Lady” and 3×9 “The Dancer”. I’m fairly certain this building is on the Warner Brothers backlot. I found it in some pictures I took when I went to the studio tour in 2016; the marquee is gone, but the rest of the building looks pretty similar.)

Marty Howard: You got nothing to worry about; if Abby doesn’t cut it, you go back in. Consider it a night off.
Doralee: And what if Abby does cut it?
Marty Howard: Consider yourself gone. Been a long time coming, Doralee. Try looking in the mirror sometimes.
Doralee: Hey Marty! I got three kids to support!
Marty Howard: Get married!

After this though, Doralee goes and looks at herself in the mirror, thinks for a bit, and then says… “gorgeous”. Doralee’s great.

This reminds me of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie.

My dad watched some of this episode last year, and he was like “did Roarke switch the parachutes?” and I was like no, Mr. Roarke would never let someone die. Well, at least post-pilot Roarke wouldn’t. Maybe Pilot Roarke was Mirror Roarke. Or if he’s a Q, then maybe after the first episode, the Continuum was like dude, tone it down, we’re trying to keep a low profile here, prime directive, man.

Roarke: The game is over.

[Tattoo is holding the magic hat and standing off-stage, next to Roarke. Tattoo gets a grin on his face, puts the hat on, and starts walking towards the stage.]
Roarke: Tattoo… don’t even think about it.

Aww, come on!

Roarke takes the hat from Tattoo, and then Roarke moves his hand to his face to cover his smile, but for a second, it looked like Roarke was gonna put on the hat instead.

[Tom and Abby have gotten engaged.]
Tattoo: Does that mean you’re not going to be stripping any more?
Abby Boudreau: Not really… it just means I’ve got a smaller audience.

Roarke and Tattoo react very awkwardly to this statement. Which is how a normal person might react, but not how Roarke and Tattoo would usually react.

• Guests:
  • Mr. Tom Vail, a Wall Street economist from Montclair, New Jersey
  • Mrs. Vanessa Walgren, an amateur sportswoman
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Tattoo: Boss, she’s a foxy lady!
    Roarke: Foxy? Now really, Tattoo… but you may be right… in more ways than you can imagine…
  • Roarke: She says her fantasy is to win the first annual Fantasy Island pentathlon being held here privately this weekend.
    Tattoo: That should be easy, since you are judging the competition.
    Roarke: Yes, but while I’m judging the competition, I’m afraid Mrs. Walgren will be judging me. In fact, before this weekend is over, she will appoint herself my judge, my jury… and my executioner…
• Events: the first annual Fantasy Island pentathlon
• What you really, really want:
  • Roarke: She says her fantasy is to win the first annual Fantasy Island pentathlon.
  • Roarke: Why don’t we talk about the real reason you came to Fantasy Island.
  • Roarke: Exactly why did you really want to see me, Mr. Ducette?
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: it might have been ominous if the shot was longer
• Magic object:
  • [Tom Vail has just been dragged on stage with no warning, and a comedian is doing a bit, and waiting for Tom to say his line.]
    Tattoo: The hat! The hat!
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: I warned him of the dangers of sailing the high seas on a raft.
• Conditions:
  • Roarke: Very well. I accept the challenge — on the condition that if I am still alive when the weekend is over, you promise to give up any further ideas of revenge and go home.
• Locations:
  • Fantasy Island Theatre
  • Fantasy Island Recreation Center
  • Fantasy Island Air Operations
• Costume change:
  • Roarke and Tattoo wear white poet shirts, white pants, and black belts for the friend or foe competition. Roarke wears a burgundy ascot, and Tattoo wears a bronze-y ascot.
  • Roarke and Tattoo wear white tuxedos to the fencing competition. Roarke wears a black bowtie, and Tattoo wears a white bowtie.
  • Roarke and Tattoo wear orange jumpsuits for the skydiving competition. Roarke wears white sneakers with black stripes, and Tattoo wears blue sneakers with yellow stripes.
• BFFs:
  • Roarke: Tattoo, please, trust me on this. We’ve been friends a long time, haven’t we?
    Tattoo: Yes, that’s why I don’t understand why you’re acting this way.
• Action Roarke:
  • He battles Henri Ducette in a fencing contest — to the death. (Roarke wins, of course, and spares Henri’s life.)
  • Roarke jumps out of a plane during the skydiving competition.
• Mortality:
  • Vanessa Walgren: Stop acting like a saint. You’re not a saint; you’re just a man. You bleed, Mr. Roarke. And if you can bleed, you can also die.
• Last chance:
  • [Just before they are about to jump out of a plane.]
    Roarke: Mrs. Walgren, are you certain you want to go through with this?
• Leaving with an extra guest: Tom Vail with new fiancée Abby Boudreau
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Roarke
  • Vanessa Walgren’s departure: That Guy
  • Tom Vail’s departure: Wally
• Age gap:
  • Barbara Stock: 26 / Rich Little: 44 = 18 years
  • Barbara Stock: 26 / Red Buttons: 64 = 38 years
  • Julie Newmar: 49 / Rich Little: 44 = -5 years
• IMDb notes:
  • IMDb previously said Abby’s last name was Poutreau, until I submitted a correction to just “Abby”, since that’s how she’s credited. I’ve never heard of the name “Poutreau” before, but I have heard of Boudreau, so that’s what I’m calling her — but it’s really kind of ambiguous, and I think they only say her last name twice (once when she is introduced, and once in the final scene).