Jencyclopedia

A grifter and his young daughter have stolen a reverend’s farm fantasy.
Sonny Bono wants to dress up like a pirate and crash his ex-wife’s wedding.

I wish Fantasy Island had a theme song that you could sing along to. I might have to write words for the theme.

Oh look, Tattoo is capable of getting into the car himself. So wtf was all that business before with Roarke picking him up all the time?

I think there’s some kind of emblem on the front of the red baseball hats that the dudes helping people out of the plane wear. Maybe if red baseball hats didn’t have such a bad rap, I’d try to make one for myself.

I feel like I shoulda watched the movie Paper Moon before watching this episode. And since there haven’t been any James Darren episodes yet, I don’t have a GIF of him to put here, but if I did, I would.

Roarke said he’d pick them up in an hour. Not forty-seven minutes — an hour. Stupid season seven Specific Roarke.

What? The guy’s already a pirate? We don’t even get a scene of him and Roarke discussing his fantasy? Did I miss it? What’s going on?

Roarke: Stop, Blackheart! Stop! Madam, I’m just as deeply shocked as you are. Shocked!

At first, I thought Roarke called him a blaggard, so I’m disappointed that that’s not the case. They did a scene transition right after this that was very Monkees. I wonder if they’ve used that transition before, or maybe it’s just a more common transition than I realize.

Roarke: Have a bless’d and glorious weekend, reverend.

I love Roarke playing this up so much, because he knows very well that that’s not the reverend. Also, hearing someone say “have a bless’d day” brings me back to the old days when I used to go to America for vacation.

Tattoo informs Roarke that there’s a detective who wants to talk to him, and Tattoo gives this look like he knows that the guy’s not a reverend either. Tattoo’s usually not in on things like that though, so that was a bit weird.

Aww, is this really the little girl’s fantasy?

Mary Cavanaugh: I hate you, and I always will.

Ugggh, I don’t like this fantasy; she’s gonna wind up in love with him by the end of it, isn’t she?

When they show the exterior shot of Roarke’s house, they zoom in on the room to the left of the walkway, and then cut to his office. But that doesn’t make sense with the position of the patio later on; I’ve always assumed his office was on the right side of the house.

When they meet the detective, Tattoo’s all “pickpocket?” like he didn’t know the guy was a pickpocket, so I guess he’s not in on it?

I feel like there have been a lot of slightly out-of-focus closeups this episode — or at least the closeups of Tattoo and Roarke that I’ve been wanting to make into GIFs have been blurry.

Ted Cavanaugh: To hell with Donald! Donald doesn’t care about you.

Oh, a butt shot. Nice. Season two, man.

lol, there’s a jail on Fantasy Island?

I think I might have seen some of this episode previously — at least the grifter story — but there weren’t any scenes in particular that I really remembered, just the little girl.

Throwing sand in someone’s eyes is a pretty good non-violent distraction move. I don’t know if it would always work as well as it did here though.

Wah, what was that shot? Roarke walking by the waterfall from the opening sequence? Where is that waterfall anyway?

Okay, apparently it’s Wailua Falls in Hawaii. Maybe they shot the pilot in Hawaii, and they just never used that shot because it’s kind of useless?

Hey, are these the first guests to stay on the island at the end?

Sgt. Broylan: Well, Mr. Roarke, I don’t think I’ll see you again.

[checks IMDb]

• Tattoo’s shenanigans: He’s selling cashmere suits for only $43… but buttons, pockets, sleeves, zippers, lapels, and pant legs are considered extras.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Tattoo: He looks a little shifty to me.
    Roarke: Indeed.
• Roarke’s drink: yellow with a lemon slice
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: there’s a shot, but he’s not all that ominous looking
• Meddling Roarke: Immediately after Petey Raymond steals a guy’s wallet, Roarke shows up and is all “oh, what’s that you have there?”
• Location recreation:
  • Roarke: The reverend wishes to spend the weekend on the fondly remembered farm where he was raised, which unfortunately, is now a shopping center in the greater Cleveland area.
  • Harmony: Looks just like I always thought it would.
• Surprise guest: Sgt. Broylan, a detective looking for Petey Raymond
• A legal matter:
  • Roarke: I must remind you that the New York police have no authority on Fantasy Island, sergeant.
  • Roarke: There’s a problem. I had a long talk with the chief magistrate of the island, and — oh, he’s such a stubborn man. He just won’t let you take the young lady from the island.
    Sgt. Broylan: What?!
    Roarke: Something about extradition papers, and uh, you don’t have them.
    […]
    Sgt. Broylan: Wait a minute. Where is this judge? I wanna talk to him.
    Roarke: You are, sergeant. You are.
• Mini-fantasy:
  • Tattoo: Mr. Johnson, what’s your fantasy?
    Mr. Johnson: Well, you see, my favourite TV show is Three’s Company. That’s where this young man shares an apartment with these two luscious beauties, and uh, what fun they have.
    […]
    Tattoo: Boss, I don’t understand. On the TV show, there are two girls. I counted five.
    Roarke: Haven’t you heard?
    Tattoo: Heard what, boss?
    Roarke: Inflation, my dear Tattoo.
• Someone else had a fantasy: The preacher’s fantasy was actually Harmony’s fantasy.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Ted Cavanaugh with new/old girlfriend Mary
• Not leaving on the plane: Petey Raymond and Harmony stay on Fantasy Island to work on the farm.