Jencyclopedia

Three secretaries want to be Charlie’s Angels.
Four old dudes want to go back to being prisoners in World War II or something.

Whoa ho ho ho. There is another front door! Tattoo walked out of it, which makes me think Tattoo’s room and/or office are over there. Plus, that’s the direction Tattoo always comes from in the S6 opening, and Pepper’s perch is on that side of the porch, so I feel like that’s definitely Tattoo’s half of the house.

Tattoo’s entrance also has the stupid green wall right in front of the door and a painting on the wall, so I feel like this house is probably mirrored, or at least has approximately the same layout on both sides. But if that’s the case, and Tattoo has an office over there, why is Tattoo always in Roarke’s office? Why don’t we ever see Tattoo in his own office?

I had been considering placing Roarke’s office on the right side of the house, which would mean the front of the house would be the fourth wall of the office, and the office windows look out behind the house, and that allows us to open up the wall behind Roarke’s desk into a patio later on. But I don’t think Roarke’s office fits on that side of the house any more with the other entrance there. If we want Roarke’s office windows and the wall behind the desk to both be exterior walls, then there’s only one place we can put the office; the patio has to be at the back of the house.

Anyway, I’m spending way too much time rearranging my floorplan when I should be watching this episode.

Tattoo: Computer can save a lot of guesswork.
Roarke: So can bikinis.

I feel like Roarke is generally pretty chaste, so when he makes these comments like “she’s at least nine wows out of ten”, it rubs me the wrong way; it’s like Spock saying “why, yes, I certainly do find your beauty disturbing.”

Nita Talbot! I mean, surely we’ve had Monkees guest stars before, but I can’t think of any right now. I know there’s Vic Tayback, but that’s later.

Roarke: Your fantasy was to return to the village of Bugeval. Well, my friends, welcome to Bugeval.

“It’s unbelievable. How did you do it, Mr. Roarke?”

This German city looks an awful lot like the Mexican city from last episode.

Roarke has a ceiling fan in his office; I can see the shadow.

I laugh at this show way too much. Roarke says he has to cancel the Charlie’s Angels fantasy because there’s been a robbery. Wow, I wonder who could help with that.

Roarke: Sorry, it’s out of the question……………

“Unless…”

K, I’m pretty sure I can write an episode of Fantasy Island now.

Oof, they are teasing me here with this shot so close to the fourth wall.

WTF is up with this dramatic zoom? Aahhh, I love this episode. Hahaha why was that shot even necessary?

Lizzie Clark: The stolen half-million dollar brooch belongs to the one at the bar.

…Wally?

They’re talking about an episode of Charlie’s Angels where Sabrina got involved with a pole vaulter and someone hid a necklace in a fridge. I wonder if this is a real episode.

Tattoo: I better call Charlie. I mean, Mr. Roarke.

Ahhhh, this guy stole the brooch! The girls found a safe-cracking device earlier, and they said only an electronic genius could figure out how to use it, and this guy figured out how to use Tattoo’s mini-computer!

Dick Stanton: It’s a great little machine. Ah, I see you’ve got the random access memory. And floating decimal. Redundant recoding scheme, geometric recall, and the solution interlace.

I bet that thing can reverse polarity too.

Those poor bungalows are always on fire. Oh, nevermind — it’s just a trick this time.

Tattoo: Boss?
Roarke: Yes?
Tattoo: Did you really speak to the angels?
Roarke: Oh, all the time, Tattoo. All the time.

This episode started out good, but I wish there was more of the Charlie’s Angels fantasy and less of whatever the other fantasy was.

• Recurring characters: Cousin Hugo sent Tattoo a smartphone — uh, I mean, a mini computer
• Recurring phrases:
  • Tattoo: Boss, my fantasy has always been to be Bosley.
    Roarke: Indeed.
• Roarke’s drink: the regular
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his glass: nada
• Location recreation:
  • “Incredible. I mean, just like it was in 1944.”
  • “Tell me, Mr. Roarke. How did you do all of this?”
    “Well, it so happens that village of Bugeval was scheduled for demolition, to make way for an airport. It was imported here, stone by stone.”
• That’s weird; we never had that before:
  • Roarke: I don’t quite know how to say this because… nothing like it has ever happened in the past. I’m afraid I find it necessary to cancel your fantasy.
• Surprise guest: Horst Von Stern, the German prison guard
• Someone else had a fantasy: Horst Von Stern wants the four dudes to be his prisoners again
• Cost:
  • Joe Matthews: Like my trip to this island: I didn’t pay for it; It was an all-expense paid vacation sent to me by anonymous.
• Leaving with an extra guest: One of the four guys and Fifi Aprea