Jencyclopedia

Davy Jones A rodeo clown lied to his grandfather son that he was a big star, so he wants his bandmates Roarke and Tattoo to pretend he is a big star.
A hypochondriac wants to find out what’s wrong with her, and when she learns she’s dying, Roarke decides it would be fun for her to pick her husband’s next wife.

[Tattoo is showing off his new dance moves.]
Tattoo: Recognize it?
Roarke: [pretends to think] …the hula!

This seems like it might be turning into a recurring gag (after “…the opera?” in “Mr. Tattoo”).

Tattoo abruptly stopping dancing would have made a good GIF, but they didn’t linger on him long enough afterwards; I hate when there are great reactions that cut off too soon.

Err, this woman is a hypochondriac, and the story is called “Substitute Wife” so… is her husband’s fantasy to replace her because she’s such a nuisance?

Dr. Van Helsing? Umm.

Dr. Van Helsing: I’m afraid you don’t have long to live.
Nadine Winslow: What?
Roarke: Doctor Van Helsing, surely, there is a gross ~error~.

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I love when Roarke is overly dramatic for the benefit of the guest.

Brian Keyhoe: Let’s just take a little walk around the house here.

I hate it when there are characters named Tommy because I’m constantly thinking of Tommy jokes.

This entire Fantasy Female scene is so over-the-top and terrible, but also great. I think I only like shows that I also hate.

If ever become obscenely rich, I will absolutely build a guest house in white and red with a groovy little “guest bungalow” sign.

Hey, is that the loudspeaker from the pilot?

Roarke is laughing way too much at Tattoo’s conga line. Like, tone it down there, bud.

I don’t remember watching this episode recently, but the whole thing felt very familiar, so maybe I did see it, and I just didn’t remember because there wasn’t anyone from Brady Bunch in it for once.

• Recurring phrases:
  • Tattoo: I knew it! It shows already.
    Roarke: Oh, it does indeed. Uh, whatever “it” is.
  • Roarke: I am well aware of what I promised you, Mr. Kehoe. And as I assured you before, this is Fantasy Island.
• Tattoo’s shenanigans: he’s taking mail-order dance lessons (from Renaldo’s Dance au Go-Go, presumably)
• Roarke’s drink: the regular
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: no, but there was an extra shot of him and Tattoo after the guests raised their drinks
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • Van Helsing: You know, it’s always been my fantasy to play a doctor and be able to inform a patient of fatal illness.
  • Van Helsing: I’m just a waiter who always wanted to be a doctor, and Roarke helped me do it.
• Monkeying around: Chester the monkey “helps” Tattoo learn the waltz
• The other side of the island:
  • Tattoo: The tide will take them all around the island, to a place called Lover’s Cove.
  • Nadine Winslow: How do I find Lover’s Cove?
    Roarke: On the far side of the island.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Brian Keyhoe with his son Tommy