Jencyclopedia

Some guy who used to work on Fantasy Island kidnaps Tattoo and demands a ransom.
Two orphans want to choose their new parents.

What is happening? This is different! There’s a hot air balloon… Fantasy Island Sunday Special? Waaat?

Wow, there are a lot of different shots of (presumably) Hawaii during the opening credits today.

And a nice long shot of Tattoo driving up to the house. It would have been nice to get that shot from the other side of the house, but I’ll take it. Ooh, okay, it looks like there’s a walkway that might lead behind the house. Although, in reality, it probably leads nowhere, because the berm is back there.

Roarke: You know this is my favourite day of the week.
Tattoo: I know, boss; it’s when the children come. I love it! It’s the best time on Fantasy Island!

Putting aside the fact that Roarke and Tattoo have presumably done this hundreds of times, so it makes no sense for them to have this conversation now… there’s a designated day for children’s fantasies? That doesn’t make sense, because Tori Spelling had a fantasy on a regular day in 7×4 “God Child”. And is this supposed to be a Sunday on Fantasy Island in-universe, because it’s a Sunday Special? Or is it just a Sunday Special because it aired on a Sunday? Okay, it looks like it did indeed air on a Sunday, and regular episodes aired on Saturdays.

Children: Hi Mr. Roarke! Hi Tattoo!
Roarke: Hello children.
Cindy: Good morning, [gents?]
Roarke: Good morning, Cindy.
Tattoo: Good morning, Cindy.

Do all the girls who work on Fantasy Island get first-name treatment? Except, I don’t think Marcia did — no, Marcia definitely did not, because her character’s name was Jenny, I absolutely would have made a big deal about Roarke saying my name. But then again, Marcia’s character was special, because she was also part of someone else’s fantasy. So I’m going to assume that Tammy from the other day must also work on Fantasy Island, because otherwise, it made no sense for Roarke to call her Tammy and not Miss Whatever. But she wasn’t wearing a Fantasy Island uniform. But then, Tattoo sometimes doesn’t wear his uniform, so I guess that’s fair. Okay, I have reconciled all the anomalies. Everything makes sense again. Carry on.

We aren’t even two minutes into the episode yet, and I’m already writing a novel.

Ohhh! Wait! I remember! Cindy was mentioned on that assistants page on the Fantasy Island fansite I found. Hm. Interesting.

Tattoo: Hurry, Cindy! We don’t want to be late for the balloon!

Waah, so children arrive on a balloon instead of a plane?

Roarke: Smiles, children, smiles!

Waaaah!

Okay, I don’t get it. There’s a woman and two kids with a fantasy, and then two adult men with a fantasy. So I guess this is just the part of the island where Roarke has little kid slaves working for him.

Roarke: Cornelius Kelly worked for me here at the hotel on Fantasy Island until I discovered he was a petty chiseler and fired him.

Okay, so we’re calling it a hotel again. I’ve never heard the word chiseler before; I thought he meant he sculpts stuff with a chisel or something.

This Cornelius guy is wearing a black suit with a white tie, hmmmm.

OHHHH my GOD Roarke is drinking a chocolate milkshake! WAAAAH.

Let’s talk about Cindy’s outfit. She’s got a white suit (with pants). She’s wearing a navy blue shirt underneath (with tiny polka dots, but you can only tell in closeups). She has no tie or bowtie. The collar is different from Roarke’s and Tattoo’s collars. I don’t really like her outfit; I want it to be the same as Roarke and Tattoo’s. At least it’s not all cleavage though.

Cornelius Kelly: I’d like nothing better than to think that we could be friends again.
Roarke: As you know, one of my cardinal rules is always to try to forgive and forget. If I were to have any doubts as to which way to choose, your sincerity has certainly convinced me.

Ehhh, I don’t think I trust Roarke here. I mean, yes, I believe he forgives and forgets, but I think he knows better in this case.

Roarke: My trusted assistant, Tattoo.
Cornelius Kelly: Oh yes. I’ve heard quite a lot about your friend Tattoo.

I don’t think they’ve established when Cornelius Kelly worked on Fantasy Island — I mean, he could have worked here when he was a teenager (assuming he is a mortal who ages normally) — so this doesn’t say anything about how long Tattoo has been with Roarke. It didn’t seem in the pilot or any of the other early episodes that Tattoo was a newbie, so I think Tattoo has been around for a while at least.

Roarke: And this is Cindy, who helps me on this side of the island.

Which side, exactly? Be more specific with your geography, please, so I can make a map.

Cornelius Kelly: I’ve been away so long, and I know the island has changed so much, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Bwhahaha. I bet it’s changed.

I’m getting a little worried for Tattoo.

Cornelius Kelly: Seems so secluded here.

…very worried.

The guy is standing behind Tattoo, and he pulls out a baguette. Is he gonna knock Tattoo out with a baguette?!

Okay, no, he just smacked him with it; he didn’t knock him out. That would have been good though.

Apparently, there’s a giant castle on the top of a hill somewhere on Fantasy Island now.

Roarke’s office is filled with boxes labelled “ant farm”. And they’re not even gonna explain it. This is great.

Roarke: To give you the ownership of Fantasy Island is an incredible price, Cornelius. I’ll have to look into methods of liquidating my holdings and transferring ownership stock. It will be complex and, uh, time consuming.

Not if he had his accountant Tattoo there to help him.

They’re trying to show that the bad guys suspect that Tattoo went up the chimney, so they show a still frame of the chimney, but they couldn’t even get a clear shot of it, ugh.

The bad guys go up the chimney, intending the push Tattoo back down, but they leave the door to the room open, so he’d be able to escape after they pushed him.

The interior of the gingerbread house on The Other Side of the Island that the kids are staying in sure looks a lot like the bungalows on the main side of the island.

Back in Roarke’s office, now he’s playing with a jar of ants. And still no one says anything about it.

Aaaah, Pepper and Chester are gonna save the day!

Cindy: Hey, why so glum?
Rebecca: Oh, he gets like that every once in a while. I guess we both do. I mean, those people wanna adopt us…
Cindy: But you wish your real mom and dad were still alive?
Rebecca: How do you know?
Cindy: Because that’s how I first came to Fantasy Island, just about when I was your age.
Mark: You mean, you’re an orphan too?
Cindy: My parents were killed in a plane crash. Mr. Roarke was the best friend they ever had, and they asked that if anything ever happened to them, that he would raise me.

Cindy is in one episode, and she gets an entire backstory. Wally the Bartender/Driver/Chef/Etc shows up every week, and all he gets is:

Regis Philbin is so young here; I wasn’t even sure it was him until he spoke.

Okay, so if Chester is wearing Tattoo’s suit now, then… what is Tattoo wearing? Oh, okay, I guess Chester brought an extra suit with him. Alright.

Cornelius Kelly: Look, forget the million dollars; give us ten thousand, and he’s yours, free and clear.
Roarke: Oh, I’m sorry. I, um… I really don’t think I want him back just now. Everything has been so nice and peaceful during his absence, you know?
Cornelius Kelly: Five thousand? Uh, okay, a measly thousand, but that’s my last offer.
Roarke: No, I think the ten thousand dollar figure is acceptable.
Cornelius Kelly: I always said you were a very fair man.
Roarke: Then we have a deal; you pay me ten thousand to take him back.

There’s a shot where Alphonse brings Tattoo into Roarke’s office, and the camera moves along with them, and we can kinda see a little further down the hall outside Roarke’s office… but I can’t really make anything out.

Roarke: You can’t miss the kitchen; it’s right down the corridor.

Well, I guess that means the unknown space on the main floor is the kitchen! I figured the remaining space was either Tattoo’s office or a kitchen. I preferred it being Tattoo’s office, and then I’d assume the tiki restaurant was nearby to provide the buffets at the beginning of the episode, but I guess the buffets are prepared in the main house.

Tattoo: Miss me, boss?
Roarke: Oh, yes. Yes, my friend. Our home just wasn’t the same without you.

CTV transcribes this as “Yes, my friend. Home just wasn’t…” but it sounds to me like he’s either saying “our home” or “a home”. We already know from 2×8 “Return” that Tattoo and Roarke live in this house, but I guess it’s nice to confirm it.

This is a rather wide shot of Roarke’s office; it seems like it’s further back than usual.

Cindy brings the children into Roarke’s office from the left, rather than in from the door on the right that the guests always use. So now we have two episodes where there seems to be another door on that landing. I had thought that maybe the other door led to a bathroom, but that doesn’t really make sense now. Although, I suppose Cindy could have just taken the children to wash up before meeting their new parents. Alternately, now that we know there’s a kitchen over there, I guess the door could lead to the kitchen? But why would Cindy be with the kids in the kitchen?

Ooh, and there’s the office’s rarely seen fourth wall again.

Mark: Please, Miss Ewell. Please adopt us.

Ellie Drake: You already are their parents.

Ellie is talking to Ruth, and the “you” is a singular “you”, so this line feels grammatically incorrect to me somehow.

Ruth Ewell: My wish was for the children to choose their own parents, but I never dreamed it would be me.
Tattoo: Why not? This is Fantasy Island.

The only thing wrong with this episode is that Mr. Roarke was okay with Tattoo stealing his line here; Roarke usually gives Tattoo a look when he does that.

Roarke has been holding a yellow book for the entire scene. He gives it to Cornelius, and Cornelius leaves without showing us what it is. Damn it — Tattoo, Cindy, somebody ask him about the book!

Tattoo: By the way, boss, what was that book you give them?

“The Ransom of Red Chief by O. Henry.” Roarke kept saying “red chief” to Tattoo on the phone, and I was thinking it was some “queen to queen’s level three” type code. I have never heard of this story, so I had to look it up; I’m surprised Tattoo knows it, because Tattoo doesn’t even know Hemingway.

I’m sad that the regular drivers Wally and Tama weren’t in this episode, but I’m glad they aren’t also the hot air balloon driver, because that would be a little ridiculous.

I love, love, love that they never explained the ant farms.

I wasn’t a big fan of Cindy; Julie had much more personality — but then, I’d have to compare Julie’s first episode to Cindy’s first episode, and I don’t know if I saw Julie’s first episode.

I kind of don’t want to look Cindy up, because I don’t want to know if she’s going to be in another episode, but I’m gonna look anyway. Aaah! She was in “Getting Davy Jones!” I remember her; she was one of Marcia’s friends in the beginning. That’s so cool. And she was in Zuma Beach, which is on my watchlist, because… Zuma Beach.

I was just reading some posts on the Star Trek subreddit, and I just realized… I’m basically the equivalent of those Trekkies who are obsessed with starships, and can identify them all on sight and know the history of every ship… but my knowledge is about the geography of Fantasy Island.

• First name basis: Cindy
• Tattoo has no faith:
  • [Describing Miss Ewell’s fantasy.]
    Roarke: …just once, for the children to be able to help select their own parents, and not the other way around.
    Tattoo: Can we really do that, boss? Can we give them the parents they want?
• Fantasy Island employees:
  • Cindy
  • Roarke: Cornelius Kelly worked for me here at the hotel on Fantasy Island until I discovered he was a petty chiseler and fired him.
• Roarke’s drink: a chocolate milkshake with whipped cream and a straw
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: well, kind of… but how ominous can you look with a chocolate milkshake in your hand?
  
• The other side of the island:
  • Roarke: And this is Cindy, who helps me on this side of the island.
  • Cornelius Kelly: You’ve been kidnapped, and this castle is in the most remote and inaccessible spot on Fantasy Island.
• Recurring characters: Chester and Pepper hang out in Roarke’s office. Later, they untie Tattoo, and Chester wears a suit like Tattoo’s to fool the kidnappers into chasing him (her?)
• Recurring phrases:
  • Ruth Ewell: My wish was for the children to choose their own parents, but I never dreamed it would be me.
    Tattoo: Why not? This is Fantasy Island.
• Not leaving on the plane:
  • Well, technically Miss Ewell and the children left on the hot air balloon, not the plane.
  • The hot air balloon is all booked, so Cornelius and Alphonse have to leave on a garbage scow.