Jencyclopedia

Stuart Whitman wants to hang out in the Old West, but he’s an idiot, and he told Mr. Roarke he wanted to visit the Real West.
Lynda Day George wants to prove that Dr. Frankenstein and his monster are real.

Hey, we’re back to no-fake-widescreen for this episode. 😍

In the opening scene, Julie enters from the left. Roarke always comes out of the main house’s front door, and Tattoo always enters from the right, but still on the porch. Once, we saw Tattoo come out of a second front door of the main house. That would seem to indicate that Julie does not live in the main house, but Roarke and Tattoo do.

Also, who are Julie’s parents? Where are Julie’s parents? How do they know Roarke? And does Julie get paid for working at Fantasy Island?

Julie: Where’s Tattoo?
Roarke: Uh, helping Mr. Kincaid fulfill his fantasy.
Julie: Oh, yes. Mr. Kincaid’s that nice man who wants to be invisible.
Roarke: Yes, uh-huh.
Julie: Can you make his fantasy come true?
Roarke: What about it. Mr. Kincaid? Can I make you invisible?
Mr. Kincaid: Indeed you can, Mr. Roarke. Witness a lovely flower for a most lovely young lady.
Roarke: Take it Julie.
Julie: Oh, thank you, Mr. Kincaid… but I thought you said Tattoo was with him?
Tattoo: That’s not fair, Julie; Mr. Kincaid stole my line, but I still think you’re beautiful anyway.
Julie: How sweet. Thank you, Tattoo.
Roarke: Have a nice day gentlemen. Come, Julie.
Julie: Bye!
Roarke: Not there, Julie, over there! Can’t you see them?

And that’s the scene that made me watch this entire damn series.

Also, Mr. Kincaid should not be allowed to say “indeed”; only Roarke and Tuvok can say it (and Tattoo when he’s being cheeky).

Roarke: But Mr. Campbell’s somewhat glamorized conception of the real west may very well involve him in some extremely difficult situations… also… great danger…

I guess someone didn’t think “extremely difficult situations” was ominous enough, so they had to add “also… great danger”.

Aww, the office just looks so much bigger and better in non-widescreen.

I think they re-used the exact same magic room props from Arte Johnson’s fantasy in 5×2 “Kid Corey”.

Joel Campbell: What the hell is a truck doin’ in 1870?

Oh, we’ve got another H-bomb. So… is that allowed then?

Carla Frankenstein: You’ve really done it, Mr. Roarke.
Roarke: Thank you.
Julie: You certainly have; this place gives me the creeps.

I wonder if any of the season 5 episodes were written for Julie specifically, or if they just gave her all of Tattoo’s lines. Hey, wait, yeah — was the devil supposed to possess Tattoo originally? Ooh, I kinda wanna re-watch that episode now, imagining it’s Tattoo instead of Julie.

James: We are being paid a lot of bucks by her company’s number one competitor to find out what she is doing here on Fantasy Island, okay?

I remember seeing the beginning of this episode on TV, and thinking what a lazy line this was.

I knew I had seen the Frankenstein set somewhere; it’s the convent at Columbia Ranch. Although I feel like this may have been in a previous Fantasy Island episode too.

Roarke: My dear doctor, this is not the world of make believe.

Pretend I have a clever DS9 reference here.

I haven’t been paying much attention to this episode, but I don’t know what this truck says, and that makes me sad.

Maybe it’s Fantasy Island Police?

Hang on, uh… is she euthanizing Frankenstein? Maybe I should have been paying attention.

I don’t understand why Joel Campbell spent the whole fantasy complaining “this isn’t what I ordered”, and then at the end of the episode, he asks Roarke to stay. I do remember seeing that scene on TV though, so I knew it was coming.

Oh, okay, Frankenstein is still alive.

Carla Frankenstein: I’m gonna have my company build a laboratory here. I think I can convince them that the secret of agelessness is right here on this island.

That’s a different episode, but yes, the fountain of youth is on Fantasy Island (2×21 “Fountain of Youth” and 6×16 “Eternal Flame”).

Carla Frankenstein: Julie, read poems to him.

Pffft, yeah, right. You saw how scared Julie was of the castle. That’s not gonna happen.

Roarke: Julie, you have performed admirably.
Julie: Thank you!
Roarke: I’d like to buy your dinner tonight.
Julie: Thank you, Mr. Roarke!

Okay, so it seems like Julie probably does get paid for working at Fantasy Island, and Roarke doesn’t cover all her expenses. I didn’t expect I’d ever get any answers to my Julie questions, so that’s great.

Omg — after they wave goodbye to the guests, there’s an extra shot of Julie and Roarke and Frankenstein walking off into the sunset.

• Julie’s outfit: pants
• Where’s Tattoo?
  • Julie: Where’s Tattoo?
    Roarke: Uh, helping Mr. Kincaid fulfill his fantasy.
• Mini-fantasy: Mr. Kincaid wants to be invisible.
• Julie has no faith:
  • Julie: Oh yes. Mr. Kincaid’s that nice man who wants to be invisible.
    Roarke: Yes, uh-huh.
    Julie: Can you make his fantasy come true?
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: What about it. Mr. Kincaid? Can I make you invisible?
    Mr. Kincaid: Indeed you can, Mr. Roarke.
  • Julie: Then it shouldn’t be too difficult to guess what his fantasy is.
    Roarke: Oh, indeed. Mr. Campbell’s fantasy is to experience the real west.
  • Julie: The whole story, the monster, the fire — that’s all from a novel, pure fiction.
    Roarke: Oh, indeed, Julie, indeed.
  • Roarke: Doctor, I must warn you… no one knows all that happened here.
  • Carla Frankenstein: I didn’t know he was here.
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Roarke: Your fantasy is over, Mr. Campbell.
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Wally
  • Carla Frankenstein’s departure: Wally
• Guests:
  • Mr. Joel Campbell of New York City, and extremely successful insurance executive
  • Dr. Carla Frankenstein, an extremely talented research chief of a modern genetic laboratory
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: But Mr. Campbell’s somewhat glamorized conception of the real west may very well involve him in some extremely difficult situations… also… great danger…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: nope, he’s not ominous at all
• Magic door, magic room, magic fog:
  • Julie: This way, please.
    Joel Campbell: Sure.
    Julie: Good luck, Mr. Campbell, and keep your powder dry.
• Time travel: Joel Campbell wanted to travel back in time to the old west, but Roarke has different plans.
  • Joel Campbell: What the hell is a truck doin’ in 1870?
• Location recreation:
  • Carla Frankenstein: It’s immaculate.
    Roarke: Well, this is the Baron’s castle, yes, reconstructed exactly as it was over a hundred and fifty years ago, before it burned down.
• Locations:
  • Wilson’s Bend (“Sam’s in the cemetery up at Wilson’s Bend.”)
  • Fantasy Island Steamship Co.
• Roarke in disguise: As a cowboy / travelling salesman in Joel Campbell’s real west fantasy.
• Can’t help you:
  • Joel Campbell: I need to get out of this no-account, one-horse, rip-off of a fantasy right now.
    Roarke: Oh, I am so sorry. That is quite impossible. Once started, a fantasy must run to its conclusion.
• Not what you asked for:
  • Joel Campbell: I wanted to the see the old west, like it really was.
    Roarke: Oh, I beg to differ with you, Mr. Campbell. You did not request to experience the old west. The term you used was the real west.
• Magic object:
  • Roarke: Mix this seed with the other type. It’s a new sturdy strain, recently developed. It will take root in the driest, stoniest soil.
• Action Julie: Some thugs kidnap Frankenstein and Julie, and at the last second, they throw Julie off the truck. Julie runs after the truck and hops onto the back.
• Roarke saves the day: Frankenstein is about to smash the thugs, but Roarke arrives with security guards.
• Not leaving on the plane:
  • Joel Campbell: I’d like to make a commitment to Maggie, to Josh, and to this no-good, dried-up wheat-filled ground that I’d like to turn into another Garden of Eden.
    Roarke: In short, you are asking my permission to become a permanent resident of Fantasy Island, and a… a committed one?
    Joel Campbell: Yes, I am.
    Roarke: They need you, Mr. Campbell, and you need them. Permission granted.
• Age gap:
  • Diane Baker: 53 / Stuart Whitman: 43 = 10 years