Jencyclopedia

Lori Beth wants to dance like Ginger Rogers.
Big Al wants to manage a boxing champion.

Last year, when I was watching this series for the first time, I had missed 6×1 since I was busy that day, so when I watched this episode on the Monday, I came back to a different “smiles, everyone, smiles!” shot, new dancing girls, new dancing girls music, and new closing scene music. At the time, I complained about missing the old music, but I do think the season 6-7 closing scene music is my favourite now.

Tattoo: Boss, who is that gorgeous lady?
Roarke: Miss Kristy Lee is at least nine wows on a scale of ten.
Tattoo: I give her a ten, boss.

Oh yes, I remember this line; I’ve been waiting for that one.

Writing these episode posts goes a lot faster without opening scene shenanigans or explanations of where Julie/Tattoo is.

I was about to point out how “Dancing Lady” is like all those other dancing fantasies they’ve had, but it looks like they’re actually reusing the exact same theatre exterior shot from 3×9 “The Dancer” (Carol Lynley played Valeska De Marco in that episode).

Roarke: Well, then perhaps this young man is the answer to two problems.
Max Grant: What do you mean?
Roarke: Well, I’ve received word that Leo McCloskey, the man Frost is booked to fight tomorrow, is in the hospital with pneumonia. Yes, I’ve been wondering whom I could get to replace him.
Max Grant: Mr. Roarke, you get me that kid, and I’ll have him ready for Frost by fight time.
Roarke: Oh, that would be most helpful… alright, Mr. Grant; I’ll see what I can do.

Roarke playing all coy, as if he didn’t orchestrate this entire scene. That’s the only difference between Roarke and Q, really; Q could never not take credit for his (mis)deeds.

Roarke: Here on Fantasy Island only, Miss Lee, this powder has the unique power of transferring the grace and skill of those artists to the feet of whomever it is dusted on.

I don’t think Roarke has ever specified before that the magic object only works on Fantasy Island.

When I watched this series last year, I kept seeing extras wearing a turquoise dress with a pink belt — I even made a comment about it in my original post for this episode. I’m now pretty sure it wasn’t the same dress, and that must have just been a trend at the time. (See also 3×1 “The Swimmer”, 5×11 “House of Dolls”, and 5×12 “Magic Camera”.)

Ahh, where’s the tapestry? Ewww, I don’t like the season 6 office.

What are these chairs in the patio? Why are they changing everything? (At least use white wicker, geez!)

Ray Tucker: This is desperation time for me. The last train to Paris.

When Roarke answers his phone, he just says “Hello”, he doesn’t say “Mr. Roarke speaking” or “Hello, you’ve reached the chief magistrate of Fantasy Island” or anything. Just “Hello”. That seems unprofessional.

Here’s a rough transcription of the French conversation for the non-Canadians in the audience (and just so I have an excuse to show off the little French I know):

Tattoo: Ah, Mr. Nelson. Comment allez-vous? (How are you?)
Gaylord Nelson: Oh, Tattoo! Comment allez-vous? Tres bien! Merci, et vous? (How are you? Very well! Thank you, and you?)
Tattoo: Tres bien, merci, enchanté. (Very well, thank you, nice to meet you.)

Gaylord Nelson: Tattoo. I do believe that you’ve grown a little since the last time I saw you.
Tattoo: You really think so?
Gaylord Nelson: At least an inch. Maybe two.
Tattoo: Don’t tell the boss, please.
Gaylord Nelson: Heaven forbid, why not?
Tattoo: He likes me this way; I want to keep my job.

Tattoo: Here comes the boss. Remember the word is… mumps.

What a great scene. Tattoo laughs and then looks away awkwardly:

And then he hunches down when he’s leaving as he walks past Roarke.

The Fantasy Island restaurant also appeared in the last episode, 6×1 “My Man Friday”, but I’m pretty sure it was meant to be a different restaurant then, so this is pretty much the first appearance of the restaurant makeover. We’ve also got the new waitress uniforms; their outfits seem to use less and less fabric as the series goes on.

Gaylord Nelson: But I warn you, I am impossible to please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. There’s only one person on this island who gets to ~warn~ people, buddy.

It’s weird seeing Roarke talking to someone like a friend, like an equal. I know Roarke and Tattoo are friends, but Roarke is still his boss, so they aren’t really equals.

They keep showing the Valeska De Marco exterior, and like… they have so many other shots of the Fantasy Island Theatre that they could have used, so why use that particular shot?

The dancing fantasy is kinda dumb; Ray Tucker chose Helen to dance with him, the girl who has been practicing and training with him for weeks/months/whatever, rather than the guest, Kristy Lee, who came in at the last second to audition for his show. That’s totally fair; it would have been unfair to Helen if he had picked Kristy Lee.

Roarke: I understand perfectly how you feel, Miss Lee, but how can you call your fantasy a miserable failure?
Kristy Lee: You told me I would dance like Ginger Rogers.
Roarke: And you have, haven’t you?
Kristy Lee: Just once. In an empty theatre!
Roarke: Oh, well, I’m sorry, you didn’t specify how many times you’d dance.

Roarke: You see, Mr. Ray Tucker has none of the special powers of Fantasy Island to help him.

Ooh. Powers of ~Fantasy Island~, not of Roarke. I’m constantly criticizing the remakes for making the island magical… but maybe they’re actually right? (Except that this is one mention of the island being magical in five years, so expecting any of the modern filmmakers to have caught that is like expecting them to know that Fantasy Island is in the middle of India just because they gave the latitude/longitude that one time.)

Kristy Lee: I have the feeling you’re the one who’s right, Mr. Roarke, and that you usually are.

Gaylord Nelson: Who was that lovely vision?
Roarke: Oh, just one of our guests. Uh, Miss, uh, Lee, Miss Kristy Lee, I believe.

Yeah, yeah, like she wasn’t just in your office talking to you.

The boxing fantasy is quite similar to the last episode, 6×1 “My Man Friday”; both guests had to decide if their fantasy was worth putting someone else at risk. In my original post for this episode, I wondered if anybody ever makes the wrong decision in their fantasies; now, a year older and much more knowledgable about the workings of Fantasy Island, I feel pretty confident in saying they always make the right choice in the end.

[Tattoo is counting his money. He’s dressed as a bookie.]

Tattoo: Hi, boss. I bet you wonder why I’m dressed like this.
Roarke: I know exactly why you’re dressed like that. How many bets have you taken?
Tattoo: Oh, just a couple.
Roarke: Oh, that’s good. Then it won’t take you very long to call them off before the fight begins.
Tattoo: But boss, my fantasy is to become the biggest bookie in the world!

I don’t find the fantasies in this episode all that interesting — dancing and boxing, pfft — but both stories have just the right amount of Tattoo and Roarke involvement. Well, I mean, of course, I’d prefer all the stories to be just about Tattoo and Roarke, but that’s not what Fantasy Island is.

I didn’t know that “throwing in the towel” was an actual literal thing that happens in boxing.

Roarke often does this silent nod and blink of approval gesture; he did it twice near the end of this episode. It kinda reminds me of a face Mike makes in “The Devil & Peter Tork” when he’s like “go play the harp”.

Ray Tucker: Kristy, I don’t care about anything except us. Understand?

Maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but didn’t this come out of nowhere? There was no “us”? They were clearly attracted to each other, but they never kissed, they never went on a date, they never told each other that they even liked each other, and they had what, two scenes together?

This is obviously not a 1982 audience.

Roarke: Are you getting taller, Tattoo?
Tattoo: Me, boss?
Roarke: Yes.
Tattoo: Oh, no.

Aw, and this is a great callback at end the episode. I hope the rest of season six is like this.

The age gap between Lynda Goodfriend (28) and Ray Bolger (78), 50 years, is now the largest age gap since I’ve started tracking this stat — although, to be fair, they never had any kind of relationship; he just expressed an attraction towards her.

• Guests:
  • Miss Kristy Lee, a receptionist from Toledo, Ohio
  • Mr. Max Grant, a professional boxing manager
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: Miss Lee may have to choose between the fulfillment of her fantasy… and the man who can be the love of her life…
  • Roarke: His fantasy is for that dream to come true, to manage a champion, no matter what the cost… he says…
  • Tattoo: That’s one happy lady, boss.
    Roarke: Yes, Tattoo. For the moment, my friend… for the moment…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: not really
• Recurring phrases:
  • Kristy Lee: Please say this has something to do with my fantasy, Mr. Roarke.
    Roarke: Oh, it does indeed.
  • Max Grant: It’s a matter of style.
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Roarke: However, as long as any of the special powder remains in that box, Miss Lee, your fantasy is not over.
• Angels:
  • Kristy Lee: The Gaylord Nelson, the legend of Broadway?
    Roarke: The very same. And now also equally famous as an angel who will financially back any show, providing that show and its star meet his most exacting requirements.
• Last chance:
  • Roarke: Before I grant your fantasy, Miss Lee, are you sure it’s what you want most? You must realize that once you commence, you cannot go back.
• Magic object:
  • Roarke: This box, Miss Lee, contains a limited amount of a very special powder. A powder distilled from the floors of the stages of the world where the greatest dancers of all time have performed. Here on Fantasy Island only, Miss Lee, this powder has the unique power of transferring the grace and skill of those artists to the feet of whomever it is dusted on.
• Surprise guest: Gertie Lawton, Max Grant’s ex-fiancée
• Can’t help you:
  • Roarke: Well, I wish I could help you, Mr. Tucker, but the final decision is yours to make.
• Friend of Roarke:
  • Roarke: Ah, Gaylord.
    Gaylord Nelson: Oh, Roarke. You incredible man. Every year, you get younger.
• Not what you asked for:
  • Roarke: I understand perfectly how you feel, Miss Lee, but how can you call your fantasy a miserable failure?
    Kristy Lee: You told me I would dance like Ginger Rogers.
    Roarke: And you have, haven’t you?
    Kristy Lee: Just once. In an empty theatre!
    Roarke: Oh, well, I’m sorry, you didn’t specify how many times you’d dance.
• Costume change:
  • Tattoo wears a bookie outfit (black bowler hat, gold vest, pinstriped white shirt, and grey pants) to take bets on the fight.
  • Roarke wears a black tuxedo and white tie to the dancing performance.
• All you need is love:
  • Kristy Lee: Mr. Roarke, I used the last of the powder on his feet; I can’t go on.
    Roarke: Of course you’ll go on, Miss Lee. You’ll go on, and you’ll dance as Kristy Lee never danced before; you’ll dance on the feet of love.
  • Kristy Lee: Mr. Roarke, how was I able to dance like I did without the powder?
    Roarke: The power of love is more potent than any fantasy, Miss Lee, and its staying power is truly fantastic. Believe in that.
• I’m a believer:
  • Roarke: The power of love is more potent than any fantasy, Miss Lee, and its staying power is truly fantastic. Believe in that.
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Max Grant with new/old fiancée Gertie Lawton and new boxing manager protegé Tommy Rudolph
  • Kristy Lee with new boyfriend Ray Tucker and also Gaylord Nelson
• Drivers:
  • To the dock: Roarke
  • Max Grant’s departure: That Guy
  • Kristy Lee’s departure: A new guy, I’m gonna call him “Ralph”
• Age gap:
  • Lynda Goodfriend: 28 / Ken Berry: 48 = 20 years
  • Lynda Goodfriend: 28 / Ray Bolger: 78 = 50 years
  • Rue McClanahan: 48 / Al Molinaro: 63 = 15 years