Jencyclopedia

Everybody Loves Raymond‘s mother wants to win a cooking contest.
A retired stuntman wants his son to stop following in his footsteps because it’s gonna kill him or something.

There was mail for me today, and it was addressed to Miss Jennifer Mylastname, so now I read all mail in Roarke’s voice.

This is a different opening shot… well, as far as opening shots go.

Tattoo: Good morning, boss. Oh, you look so great. You look fantastic.
Roarke: Ah, thank you, Tattoo. The boutonnière, may I ask what it’s for?
Tattoo: Oh, the boutonnière. It’s for you, boss. Bend down. There you are. You’re going to look smashing! There you are. Oh, you look fantastic. Really beautiful. Can I do anything for you boss? Anything else?
Roarke: Tattoo, why am I suspicious?

Tattoo: Oh, here comes the rover!

Ah, okay, so they call the cars rovers.

Tattoo: Hey, boss. We don’t want our guests to be waiting. Come on, let’s go.

Hey, two Monkees guest actors today — Hans Conried and Vito Scotti.

I think one of the guys helping the people off the planes becomes one of the main drivers in the later seasons. I hope he gets a name eventually.

The father and son stuntman story reminds me of an episode of Quantum Leap.

Roarke: Until now, Mr. Rawlings has stayed on the sidelines and remained silent.
Tattoo: Until now? What will happen now?
[Roarke doesn’t answer.]

Tattoo: But boss, some of the most famous chefs in the world are here for our contest. How does she hope to win?
[Roarke doesn’t answer.]

Rude.

I don’t know where this place is, but they’re showing a lot of the area around the red and white striped lighthouse.

A nice shot of the main house’s roof here.

Ohh, I remember now; I saw the scene with the chefs when this was on TV, and I was like hey, that guy looks familiar… and so does that guy!

WTF. The fountain is on the grass now?!

Roarke: I am certain our new contestants would like to see the kitchen.

YAAAS OH MY GOD. PLEASE.

Roarke asks Tattoo to show them the kitchen. Then we see Tattoo in the background walking towards the main house, up the stairs, and presumably into Roarke’s entrance, because then he goes off-screen. I would have thought they would go in the other entrance, because that’s where I presume the kitchen is.

Hm, then I guess they change their minds, because in the next shot, we see them walking down the porch to the other entrance. Okay, I like this. It all makes sense. But I have no idea what was said in that the foreground of that scene.

Anyway, they’ve gotta have scenes in the kitchen if this fantasy is about a cooking contest, right? RIGHT?!

Gah, get this stuntman fantasy over with. Get back to the kitchen!

AAAH, there it is!

…ehhhh I don’t think this really looks like the main house. Like, look at those windows. Maybe they’re interior windows?

Roarke [on the phone]: Uh yes, Mr. Besler, I am certain we can fulfill your fantasy. Yes. Uh huh. Uh, how many mermaids? … How many? Well, that’s more than I anticipated, but uh… but I’m sure we can accommodate you, yes… when do you wish to experience your fantasy, Mr. Besler? … Well, let me check my calendar. Just one moment please… um… yes… yes, I think those dates will work out very satisfactorily. Uh huh. Yes. Um… how many will there be in your party?… Uh, Mr. Besler, something unexpected has come up. Uh, may I call you back in a few minutes? Thank you.

I think this is the first time we’ve actually heard a fantasy being arranged, so that’s cool.

That’s a tiny calendar; there’s no way he could keep track of every fantasy in there.

So she can’t enter her spinach pie in the contest, because Dr. Marcovich stole it. But everyone knows that he stole it, so… that’s dumb.

It’s just perfect and totally consistent with the main house that there’s a wall immediately outside the kitchen door.

Roarke: Ah, there you are, Mr. Vouvray. I thought I’d find you in the kitchen.
[Roarke indicates away from the main house.]

WTF boy? No. Everything was working. Everything was making sense. Why you gotta ruin it like that?

Hans Conried: You must be joking.

Hey! There’s Wally! It’s been a while since we’ve seen him. I’m glad he’s still around.

There are an awful lot of baguettes being used as weapons in this series.

Norma Rawlings: Thank you so much, Mr. Roarke.

WTF, she was just crying a minute ago because she thought her son and husband were dead. But she still went home happy. Fantasy Island, man.

I feel like Tattoo’s whistling was probably dubbed, like by the guy who did “I Was Kaiser Bill’s Batman”, ’cause that was really good whistling.

I kind of forgot about this, but I am disappointed that Roarke didn’t wear the boutonnière through the whole episode.

Roarke: Why? Why? Why?
Tattoo: Boss, don’t you get it?
Roarke: No, I most certainly do not get it.
Tattoo: Well, it’s because of this newspaper article. The ad you put in it. Read it.
Roarke: “Wanted: assistant manager.”

This kind of ruins my theory that Tattoo is the accountant.

Roarke: It is true that I placed an ad for an assistant manager. That’s true. But it was for the hotel.

But this confirms that the ~hotel~ and whatever Roarke usually does are separate things.

Roarke: The day I fire you, my dear Tattoo, will be the day that birds no longer fly.
[A bird is thrown onto the ground in front of them.]

Then they both start laughing and patting each other on the back, and Roarke points at laughs at the wounded bird laying on the ground. Real nice, Roarke.

Anyway, this wasn’t that interesting, but at least the “Gander” fantasy gave us the kitchen, and we got Roarke booking a fantasy.

• Tattoo’s shenanigans: He’s being super nice to Roarke because he thinks he’s getting fired.
• Competitions: the Fantasy Island Grand Cuisine and Cookery Contest
• Roarke’s drink: red with a pineapple (?) slice
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: yeah, this is a thing now
• Costume change: Tattoo wears a chef’s hat.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: Oh, Mrs. Gibb, where is your faith? This is Fantasy Island.
• Cost:
  • Joe Lange: Two fantasies for the price of one.
    Tattoo: Two fantasies?
    Joe Lange: Yeah, I’ve always wanted to participate in one of those pie throwing fights.
    Marge Gibbs: Me too!
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Marge Gibbs with new boyfriend Joe Lange
  • Peter and Norma Rawlings with their son Bill