Jencyclopedia

An orphaned baby’s mother want her baby to be adopted by a family on Fantasy Island.
Barbi Benton wants to sponsor a guy to run a marathon to promote her failing barbell company.

Oh, nice continuity — Tattoo had to go change out of his costume, so Roarke left without him, and Roarke arrived at the dock without him too.

What? How can a baby have a fantasy?

Roarke: It was always his mother’s wish that if anything ever happened to her, little Patrick would be raised here on Fantasy Island, where she herself grew up.

Oh.

I definitely saw this episode on TV, because I remember trying to think of the funniest way to describe it to my dad. I forget the phrasing I decided on, but it was something like Barbi Benton was running in a race, and all her clothes fell off, and then everyone realized she wasn’t a man.

AHH where is this room?! The style matches Roarke’s office, but…

Mary: You sure you won’t mind keeping him here in your room, Tattoo?

AHHHHHHH YAAAAAAAS!

They’re not showing us very much of the room though.

Roarke: Gentlemen…
[He sees Barbi Benton disguised as Olaf.]
Roarke: and, uh… gentlemen.

Oh wow, a different shot of the exterior of the tiki restaurant!

I feel like this confirms that the tiki restaurant is indeed the hotel. In the scene in Roarke’s office, Roarke and Tattoo were discussing the families who applied to adopt the baby. He mentioned the Cohalas (“you mean the people from the fishing village?”) and the Clancys (“you mean the people who cook for the hotel?”) In the previous shot, Tattoo was talking to a family who was fishing, and now, outside the tiki restaurant, he’s talking to a guy in a chef hat.

AHHH! Roarke is on Westward Beach! I’ve been on Westward Beach! Waaaah, it’s my favourite beach! 😭 This episode is great with the locations; it must be making up for last episode having no office scenes.

Aww, they tricked me; there was an exterior night shot of the main house, and I was hoping this meant we’d see more of Tattoo’s room, but it was just the office.

Gretchen Wasserman [sarcastic]: Oh, sure. And you’re just a feeble, dumb old woman, only good for cooking, cleaning, opening cans.

Damn, what happened to this show in the later seasons? You’d never get a girl power fantasy like this in season 7.

Gretchen Wasserman: How about walking me to the lean-to? I mean, just in case Bigfoot decides to come out of the jungle or something.

That could actually happen.

Tattoo: Mary, can I ask you a question? You have a lot of kids. What does it mean to you to be a parent?
Mary: Gee, that’s a tough one, Tattoo. Well, I guess for starters, it’s the most wonderful job I’ve ever had. Um, maybe I can explain that a bit better. A long time ago, when Kiko was just a little boy, he got lost at the Fantasy Island Carnival…

Waaah, oh my god. This literally happened to my little brother in real life; he got lost at an amusement park called Fantasy Island.

I feel like the middle of a baseball diamond is not the safest place for a baby carriage. Also, Fantasy Island has a professional baseball diamond, which we saw in 1×10 “Superstar”; why are these kids playing at this dinky one?

Tattoo: Patrick… maybe money is not everything after all.

Roarke: Here, we can give the boy everything money can buy; a fine house to live in, the best schools to go to…

Really? Fantasy Island has the best schools?

So the “Battle of the Sexes” story is progressive, but “Baby”, not so much. Tattoo thinks the baby needs a mother and siblings… but there are lots of kids raised by single fathers.

There’s a map of Fantasy Island at the end of the marathon, but there aren’t any close shots of it. At least we’ve got the shape of the island though.

Roarke: Oh, where is Tattoo?
Mary: Oh, he’s in his room. He wanted to say goodbye to Patrick alone.

Show us the room, dammit!

Yaaa, there it is! OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING AHHHH THEY ARE PANNING ACROSS THE WHOLE ROOOOMMM!!!

There’s Tattoo’s bugle from 2×3! (Or is that a bugle? I don’t know instruments that well.) Then there’s a purple prize ribbon, a top hat with flowers and a scarf, some bongos, a piano, a pinball machine (Star Explorer), and a desk where Tattoo is writing a letter to Patrick. I feel like there were several episodes where Tattoo tried to be a magician, 1×13 being one of them, but in that episode, he had a white top hat, and the one in Tattoo’s room is black. The bugle got me excited; I thought all the items would be callbacks to previous episodes, but the bugle is the only one I can place.

There are also two doors in this room. Tattoo is walking towards the door by the desk to leave, and since the door by the crib has slats in it, I think that one must be a closet.

Mary and Thomas are leaving with baby Patrick on the boat… but they’ve left their other son the main island. Also, they’re rowing away in a lake; I don’t think they’re gonna get very far.

Joshua Gallegos was Thomas; he was one of the guys at the amusement park.

• Tattoo’s shenanigans: He’s going to light the flame of victory for the Fantasy Island marathon… but the Lava Lava girls think it’s a fire, and they try to put it out.
• Costume change: Tattoo is wearing a runner’s outfit.
• Competitions: Fantasy Island marathon (“perhaps the world’s most demanding and athletic event”)
• Recurring phrases
  • Roarke: Flames of victory indeed.
• Roarke’s drink: red with a pineapple (?) slice
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: no shot of Roarke at all after the guests
• Recurring characters:
  • Wally is cooking at the buffet before the marathon.
  • Tama is standing around watching the contestants during the obstacle course.
• The other side of the island:
  • Kiko: Well, my little brother Tommy, he’s back home on our side of the island…
• Meddling Roarke:
  • Roarke: Several people here on the island want to adopt a baby, and they have sent in their applications, you see. Unfortunately, uh, I haven’t gotten around to all of them yet.
    [Because he expects Tattoo to do it.]
  • Roarke turns the arrow on the finish line sign around so it’s pointing in the wrong direction… but he only does this because he suspects Dr. Funk is going to do the same thing.
• Leaving with an extra guest:
  • Bunny Kelly with Eugene Bodine
  • Baby Patrick with new parents Mary and Thomas