Jencyclopedia

Maxwell Smart wants to fly a plane in World War I.
Diana Canova wants Roarke to remove her old lady makeup.

I’ve got a feeling this is gonna be a boring episode.

Roarke [muttering to himself]: Frankenstein.

Roarke is exceptionally pissed today. He didn’t even wait for Tattoo to arrive at the dock before he said “smiles, everyone, smiles”.

Okay, where is this house? It was also in “Magnolia Blossoms”, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in other episodes too. I was thinking it was the same one in “Voodoo”, but it is not.

When I first started paying attention to Fantasy Island when it was on TV, I noticed they would often have one fantasy where the first scene was in Roarke’s office, and the other fantasy’s first scene would take place elsewhere. I think maybe they’ve started doing that consistently now.

Ahhh! We’ve got a ~magic object~. Woo, it’s been a while.

Aw man, I love the acid special effects here. They actually aren’t even bad effects, but they made me laugh out loud.

The 50 year old lady who is now a 25 year old lady is acting all timid and frail and awkward about being hit on by young men, but I don’t buy it. I’m closer to 25 than 50, but I still feel like a kid rather than an adult, and I don’t think that will be any different when I’m 50 years old. If I was suddenly 6 years old again, I’d be running around and doing cartwheels.

Oh no. Reuben Kincaid is looking for Diana Canova. Yuhhh, and he wants to marry her, nooo.

George Crane: I figured that we would be husband and wife by the end of the year. Uh, at her age, she really doesn’t have too much of a choice.

Waaaah. Here we go, I guess. Is this the moment where Fantasy Island changes from Barbi Benton beating a bunch of men in a marathon to “a woman’s search for fulfillment often leads her to her own doorstep”?

Ugh, Roarke is looking out the damn office window. No, please don’t do this. That window doesn’t look that way! You’re ruining it!

I paused the episode and spent some time trying to make the floorplan where Roarke’s office windows are at the front of the house, and that layout just makes no sense whatsoever, even without the patio. Boss, can we do that? No, no, we can’t, Tattoo.

This episode aired on October 27, so that explains the masquerade ball and Tattoo’s costumes. Roarke should have put more effort into his costume though; that mask is super lame.

Ah, that’s a relief. Helen is gonna stay with the young guy (who turned out to be an old guy too) rather than going back to Reuben who’s all “well, I’m the best she’s gonna get.”

Cornelius Wieselfarber: I’m no longer a hero worshipper of those Flying Aces. Besides, I think that the romance of war is a subject that shouldn’t be taught to children.

I didn’t pay any attention to this fantasy after Roarke and Tattoo left, but this is a nice thought.

Cornelius Wieselfarber: Mr. Roarke, I was wondering, uh, perhaps, maybe someday soon, you could transport me back to France. You know, right after World War I, say 1919, 1920.
Roarke: Well, it’s a very unusual request to want to return to a fantasy.

Aside from the fact that we know this has happened before, that seems like a very dumb thing to say. There are so many guests who were like “no, I wasn’t ready to leave yet” and Roarke was all “your fantasy is over”, so I’m sure many people would want to return to a fantasy. Although, usually, the reason they want to return is because they fell in love with someone, but hey, it just so happens they were another guest with a fantasy, and they’re leaving on the same plane as you, so most people have no reason to go back to the same fantasy.

Roarke: But, uh, why don’t you come back in six months or so, and if it still means that much to you…

What?! The French chick isn’t another guest with a fantasy? Well, that’s not fair; this guy got ripped off.

What, Gowron was in this?! He must have been in the plane fantasy.

Oh! Maybe that’s why they have so many plane fantasies — ’cause “the plane, the plane”.

I spent a long time after this episode trying to figure out where that house was, but, like always, I really have nothing to go on except, well, maybe it’s in Pasadena? Maybe it’s in Burbank? There are some hills nearby? It’s a wonder I found any Monkees filming locations (although, the only ones I actually found myself were some of the beaches, and then things like Christown Mall, Piscine Deligny, and Colorado Boulevard, which all had signs basically saying exactly where they were. Although, I did find the S7 Japanese garden just by looking around Google Maps.)

However, I found a grocery store that was used as a filming location in some movie, and I was like hey, that kinda looks like the one from “Instant Family”, so then I went back and checked that episode… and I realized that grocery store was a re-dress of the kitchen. Or rather, the kitchen was a re-dress of the grocery store.

One of the IMDb reviewers mentioned he saw it coming that the guy Helen fell in love with was gonna be an old guy too. I didn’t see it coming, but I wasn’t really surprised either; I just didn’t think about what was gonna happen. Anyway, a better ending would have been if he wasn’t old, but he still wanted to marry her after he saw who she really was.

Ooh! Just saw the next episode title. Oh boy.

• Costume change:
  • Tattoo wears Frankenstein and Dracula costumes and dark sunglasses.
  • Roarke wears a silver mask and black bowtie to the masquerade ball.
• Tattoo’s shenanigans: He’s wearing monster costumes so people won’t pick on him.
• Tattoo has no faith:
  • Roarke: For this weekend, he wants to be a Flying Ace of World War I.
    Tattoo: World War I? Boss, can we really do that?
  • Tattoo: Boss, can you really fix it that she be twenty-five years old again?
• Roarke’s drink: clear yellowish
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his drink: no, he just looks annoyed at Tattoo
• Location recreation:
  • Cornelius Wieselfarber: Wow, this is unbelievable. Why, it’s almost an exact replica of a World War I officer’s club.
• Can’t help you:
  • Roarke: Oh, uh, you do understand, don’t you, that, uh, if you can go back to the era you wish, you will be quite beyond my help should you encounter trouble.
  • Helen Phillips: You’ve got to give me more of the potion.
    Roarke: Oh, I’m afraid that’s not possible, Miss Phillips.
• Magic object:
  • Roarke: The liquid in this vial contains a very special potion. Certain agents claim it can give the appearance of youth, if only temporarily.
• Surprise guests: George Crane, a friend of Helen Phillips
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • David Hanks: I had a fantasy too. […] Helen, my fantasy was you.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Helen Phillips with new husband, David Hanks
• Recurring characters: Tattoo dressed Chester the Chimp in a Godzilla outfit, and Chester punched Tattoo in the eye and gave him a bruise.