Jencyclopedia

Georgia Engel and a friend want to be cheerleaders.
Vic Tayback and a stuck-up movie star re-enact Gilligan’s Island.

The lava lava girls are back in their old outfits! Are we gonna get — YES! Shenanigans!

Oh, look at this beautiful shot of the main house! This is what I want in an episode; shenanigans and the main house.

Whoa! We haven’t had any shots of both guests at the same time since like season one. Craaazy.

Tattoo has to be more involved in this episode, because one story is cheerleaders, and the other is about a movie star.

Melvin Mews: Swell looking duds. But it beats me how you knew my sizes.
Tattoo: On Fantasy Island, we know many things.

Cathy Wilton: But Marge, you have a crush on half the football players and movie stars in the world.

I’m in this picture, and I don’t like it.

I don’t think she’s gonna have a good time doing her nails on a little boat like that.

Liz Merrill: Mr. Roarke wouldn’t dare do such a thing to me.

Roarke: What the–

It’s weird to hear Roarke being cut off before what could potentially be a curse word.

Hey! It’s the first appearance of the classic Fantasy Island Hospital. I wish I lived in the Fantasy Island Hospital; what a beautiful view.

Nooooooooo. Gilligan’s Island just got really rapey. And she likes it, noooooo.

Roarke: I regret saying this, ladies, but you have placed me in a very embarrassing position.
Cathy Wilton: How so, Mr. Roarke?
Roarke: It was I who arranged for you to be cheerleaders, but, uh, my plan seems to have backfired completely. Within twenty-four hours, you have managed to put one quarterback in the hospital, render a highly wanted place kicker totally ineffective, and demoralized an entire football team, including its coach, of course.
Marg Atkins: What’s wrong with the place kicker?
Roarke: He is hopelessly in love with you, Miss Atkins, and as a direct result, he is unable to concentrate on the ball.

Ugggh. That’s not her fault. It’s not like you could even claim that she led him on; she was just polite with him.

Ohhkay, and Roarke’s solution is for her to lead him on… great.

This football story started out alright, with the girls disguising themselves as football players, and the one girl knowing exactly what was wrong with the quarterback’s game, but then it got kinda dumb, and the scene of the football practice was too long.

I don’t like that they’re supposed to be lost on a deserted island, but they are very clearly in front of the same old waterfall set.

The girls aren’t leaving with their football players, but they are apparently in relationships with them. That’s kind of disappointing.

• Tattoo’s shenanigans: He disguises himself as a fire hydrant, haystack, palm tree, and mail bag because he’s taking a mail-order course on how to become a secret agent.
• Roarke humouring Tattoo: Tattoo is obviously disguised as a fire hydrant. Roarke calls out for Tattoo, pretending he doesn’t know here he is.
• Roarke’s drink: red with pineapple slice
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his glass: no; they close the opening scene with a shot of Roarke and Tattoo from behind
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: I warned you, Mr. Mews, there will be times, if your fantasy was to be fulfilled, when you would have to trust and obey my instructions implicitly. Or have you forgotten?
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • Melvin Mews: And your fantasy is to make Bawdy House Blues a hit, huh?
    Liz Merrill: In a manner of speaking, yes. To be precise, my fantasy is to be marooned on a deserted island.
• Locations: Fantasy Island Hospital
• Not leaving on the plane: Melvin Mews and Liz Merrill stayed on a deserted island so they could live happily ever after together.