Jencyclopedia

A movie star wants to take a vacation without being recognized, so Roarke sends her to an island with a guy who is secretly her number one fan.
A man wants to hang out with his millionaire great grandmother, who turns out to be a madam.

It’s been a while since I’ve watched an episode, because this is another three-fantasy episode. I didn’t feel like watching it on the weekend, but I figure most three-fantasy episodes don’t leave much time for shenanigans, so I can probably get through this one quick enough on a weekday, since I won’t be making many GIFs.

The first story is about a movie star who can’t take a normal vacation because everyone knows her everywhere she goes. Yawn, how many times have they done this fantasy already? 1×9 “The Funny Girl” is exactly the same premise, just with a comedian; 1×5 “The Prince” and 1×7 “Lady of the Evening” are the same, but with a prince and a hooker; 2×17 “The Stripper” is about a well-known heiress seeking anonymity; and 3×17 “Playgirl” is about a model not wanting to be a model.

If I was Roarke, I would send her on vacation in Antarctica, but I know that will never happen for the same reason they don’t do Survivor in northern Canada.

Tattoo: But boss, the turn of the century was eighty years ago. His great-grandma must be dead.
Roarke: Really? Can anyone who still lives in the hearts and memory of her descendants be anything less than vibrantly alive, Tattoo?

I like this line, because it’s consistent with what Roarke says in 7×21 “Bojangles and the Dancer”.

Roarke: My dear guests…

Wait! I thought there were supposed to be three fantasies!?

(I never thought I’d actually get to use that GIF.)

It looks like CTV has the edited version of this episode. Hmmm. The full version isn’t on YouTube. Let’s see if it’s anywhere els–

Oh boy.

On Saturday, May 1, all seasons of the original 1977 “Fantasy Island” series and the 1998 remake will begin streaming on FOX Entertainment’s free-streaming platform, Tubi.

MovieHole

Free? Okay, sounds good… mm… but Tubi’s search doesn’t find Fantasy Island. Google finds a Fantasy Island page, but there’s no way to watch anything from what I can tell. Is it because I’m Canadian?

Wat? I don’t get it.

Okay, so I don’t think I’m watching this episode tonight.

I’ve just learned they’ve only released the first three seasons of Fantasy Island on DVD, so I can’t even buy this season to watch the full episode. Great.

OMG, there’s a Reddit thread with real people in this century speculating about Roarke’s powers. Waaah.

Alright, well:

---

Okay, trying this again.

I never noticed this before, but the fish-dragon things on the fountain outside the main house are very similar to the fish-dragons on the park fountain.

The second guest is just standing awkwardly at the end of the dock. It makes me uncomfortable. I guess they had to do that though since it’s a three-parter, so he couldn’t stand off to the right or left.

Kim Holland: It’s so good of you to accept me as a guest on such short notice, right off the cruise ship.
Roarke: We are lucky to have you, Miss Holland.
Tattoo: You’re lucky that we had a last-minute cancellation.
[Roarke gives Tattoo a look.]

Roarke: So long as you understand that anonymity, real anonymity, may be no bed of roses either. You may in fact be trading one set of problems for another, Miss Holland.
Kim Holland: I’m willing to take that chance.

Yeah, that’s when you’re supposed to say “I must warn you”.

I feel like they don’t use this set often enough, and they obviously painted the bridge white and red specifically for Fantasy Island.

Roarke: I thought you might have recognized this house from old family photographs. Well, even though time has taken its toll, it is an exact architectural replica of the mansion on Knob Hill built by your great grandmother, Miss Lily Niles MacHenry.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a replica fantasy.

Roarke proposes a toast to Gordon’s grandmother. Roarke pours brandy for Gordon, for himself, and then puts down the bottle. Tattoo looks at Roarke like wtf, what about me, and Roarke just waves him off. What’s the deal with that? I feel like Roarke also didn’t give Tattoo alcohol in 3×6 “The Red Baron”.

Gordon Hughes: This is hardly the fantasy I had in mind, Mr. Roarke… Mr. Roarke?

This time, Tattoo disappeared with Roarke too! I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

lol, Barbi Benton is playing an Irish maid?

Gordon Hughes: Now Molly’s mad at me, I’ve just assaulted an officer of the law, and I’m the new fancy man at Lily Mac’s Pleasure Palace.

“That’s for the benefit of any of you who’ve tuned in late. Now, back to our story!”

[Greg talks about how he wants to be an old timey, house calls sorta doctor.]
Kim Holland: There’s still room for that kind of dedication.
Greg Miller: No. Not when you have to spend half your time filling out forms, running credit checks on your patients, covering yourself against malpractice suits.

Okay, well, to this Canadian, the credit check thing seems unnecessary, but uh… you probably should take the time to not do things that would cause a malpractice suit.

Molly: Now, would you kindly take yourselef out of me way? I’ve me wark to do.
[Gordon Hughes kisses her.]
Molly: You had no right to be doin’ dat.

wtf Gordon. Not cool.

Kim Holland: Greg — Dr. Miller — needs me.
Roarke: Indeed. Could it be that you also find yourself needing Dr. Miller?

One ticket for “leaving with an extra guest”, please.

Also… ugh. I feel like there’s this implication that Kim can’t leave because she needs a man to keep her safe from the headhunters. Or maybe Roarke’s just saying 🎶 Kim and Greg, sittin’ in a tree… 🎶

Roarke: Most anonymous people lead hard lives. They must labour long hours, and often, the returns are only meagre. No one hands them anything.
Kim Holland: I remember that. I worked a lot of hours of overtime at the pharmacy to pay for my acting classes. You think I’m some pampered, frail little flower who’s gonna bail out the minute she breaks a fingernail, don’t you?

You go girl — we don’t usually get people talking back to Roarke.

Roarke: Miss Holland, once a fantasy begins, it must play itself out.

She wasn’t even asking to cancel her fantasy though? Why are you telling her this?

[Greg Miller has been captured by the headhunters.]
Kim Holland: Greg!
Greg Miller: Kim, get back inside!

What good is going back inside a hut gonna do? There’s no door keeping them out.

[They’re in San Francisco. The roof starts falling, and everything is shaking.]
Molly: Far haven’s sake, what’s happenin’?!
Gordon Hughes: What’s the date?
Lily Niles MacHenry: April 18, 1906.

Yeah, because I always tell people the current year. (“It’s 1995, remember?”)

Lily has a gold box in her safe, and at first, I thought it was Roarke’s gold box from his office, and I was so excited, because we got to see what was inside — but it’s a different box.

Gordon is trying to escape from the earthquake. He starts running, the screen starts spinning, and then he ends up running into Roarke’s office… from the hidden door opposite the entrance. Ugggh, what the heck is that door. It must be another magic room. Wait, that’s fair. The first time we saw it was Tattoo emerging from the Red Baron mini-fantasy. And then we had Cindy bringing the kids out from that room in 2×23 “The Choice”. I guess they could have been playing in there or something. And I guess it makes sense for Roarke to have multiple magic fantasy rooms, because he has multiple guests with multiple fantasies. Alright… although, Roarke brought Gordon to that house, so he should have emerged from his fantasy in that house. It was stupid to bring him out of the fantasy and into the office.

[Roarke points to the stock certificates in Gordon Hughes’ pocket.]
Roarke: Oh, I see you managed to preserve a souvenir of your journey back through time.

That’s new.

Gordon Hughes: What happened to Molly? Did she–?

Yeah, she died, dude. It was 74 years ago. She’s either dead, or way too old for you.

One of the movies Kim Holland was in was called Princess of the Lost Galaxy. Considering she made a Jane Fonda reference earlier, this seems to be a play on Barbarella.

Uggh, I don’t like that Greg knew she was a movie star all along. That’s not fair.

Wow, we’ve never seen this shot before, have we?

Roarke: By the way, there’ll be another passenger travelling with you.

Barbi always has the cutest outfits.

I think Tama’s growing a mustache.

Okay, so I was wrong — Kim didn’t leave with an extra guest; she stayed on the island with the other guest.

When this episode originally aired, the “Possessed” segment was aired in a separate half-hour segment at 8 PM (Eastern). Then a 90-minute “Love Boat” episode, with a segment featuring Loni Anderson’s character of Kim Holland, followed this; the other two story arcs were then aired as a regular 60-minute “Fantasy Island” episode, continuing Kim Holland’s story.

IMDb trivia

Well, that explains why “Possessed” is missing from CTV. But also… this character crossed over into Love Boat — waaaat!?

I’m disappointed that neither Fantasy Island nor Love Boat are in the Tommy Westphall Universe image. Boo.

Aaand I can’t find that episode of Love Boat anywhere online either. Damn.

Oh my god, the line “it’s so good of you to accept me as a guest on such short notice, right off the cruise ship” makes more sense now!

• Guests:
  • Kim Holland, a famous movie star
  • Mr. Gordon Hughes
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: It seems, Tattoo, that the life of a superstar is not as pleasant as one might think…
• Roarke’s drink: clearish yellow
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: yeah
• Locations:
  • Roarke: As you pilot the boat up river, you will be entering another world. A small primitive community of natives who live precisely as their ancestors did many centuries ago.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Tattoo: Have a safe journey, Miss Holland.
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Gordon Hughes: Queen of all she surveyed.
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Kim Holland: Greg — Dr. Miller — needs me.
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Gordon Hughes: No. Molly needs me.
    Roarke: Your fantasy is over, Mr. Hughes.
• Location recreation:
  • Roarke: I thought you might have recognized this house from old family photographs. Well, even though time has taken its toll, it is an exact architectural replica of the mansion on Knob Hill built by your great grandmother, Miss Lily Niles MacHenry.
• First name basis:
  • Roarke: I’m sure your great grandmother, the illustrious Miss Lily, was a happy person, Mr. Hughes.
• Disappearing act:
  • Gordon Hughes: This is hardly the fantasy I had in mind, Mr. Roarke… Mr. Roarke?
  • Roarke: Miss Holland, once a fantasy begins, it must play itself out. How it ends is entirely up to you.
    [An animal roars. Kim Holland turns to look, then she turns back to where Roarke was sitting. He’s gone.]
    Kim Holland: Mr. Roarke? Mr. Roarke?
• Can’t help you:
  • Roarke: Miss Holland, once a fantasy begins, it must play itself out.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Gordon Hughes with Molly Delahanti
  • Roarke: By the way, there’ll be another passenger travelling with you.
• Someone else had a fantasy: Molly Delahanti
  • Tattoo: A young lady whose fantasy was to know about her great-great grandmother.
    Roarke: –who was an immigrant girl who survived the San Francisco earthquake to become the first female graduate of the California State College of Medicine. May I introduce her great-great granddaughter, Miss Molly Delahanti.
• Not leaving on the plane: Kim Holland
  • Tattoo: Boss, where’s she going? She’s gonna miss the plane.
    Roarke: Oh, she is not going to the plane, Tattoo. At least, not for a while yet. Not until she has helped Dr. Miller train some of the natives as hospital orderlies.