Jencyclopedia

Jack the Ripper becomes sentient and leaves the holodeck.
Ken Berry wants to be a gigolo.

Tattoo: She’s a lawyer? What a waste.

“North Shore” guest bungalow? That looks an awful lot like the hilltop bungalow.

[Stanley Hocker wants to be a gigalo. Roarke gives him a bracelet that belonged to Don Juan.]
Stanley Hocker: Is that all there is to it? Just the bracelet?
Tattoo: Look in the mirror.

You’ll have no trouble attracting ladies now that you look like Mr. Roarke.

For real though, when Stanley looks in the mirror, he has different clothes on. I don’t know if they’ve ever done a quick change like this before. They fooled me though; Stanley turned around, and I thought Roarke was gonna be gone, but he wasn’t.

I just realized I’m not generally a fan of Ken Berry fantasies because I still hold a grudge against him for that Brady Bunch episode.

This fantasy has very 1×4 “Mr. Irresistible” vibes.

Roarke: For your own sake, I must urge you to reconsider.

Dammit, Roarke. Could you please just “must warn” someone ONCE this year?

Roarke: This is a very special door, Miss Peters. It can be caused to open into the past. I warn you, this door is the only means by which you can return here, so it is vital you note its precise, precise location after you step through.

Okay, that’s better. Not quite the gold standard “but I must warn you”, but at least we’re getting closer.

I’m really disappointed these keys are boring, and not like the Lilac Bungalow keys from 3×18 “Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde”.

[Tattoo is hanging out in Roarke’s office late at night. The phone rings. Tattoo answers it.]
Tattoo: Hello? No, the boss is not here. You want me to approve the menu?

This really isn’t that interesting a quote, but anything about Roarke and Tattoo’s responsibilities intrigues me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Our first shot of the wall opposite the office door!

It doesn’t really look like there’s a door there, but there has to be.

Oh man, I thought Jack the Ripper was gonna be the first person to use Roarke’s patio, but he just looked out the window instead.

Wow, I’m impressed. There was a shot of a calendar showing the day this episode premiered.

Who thought it was a good idea to convert this show to widescreen?!?!

Roarke: I am very much afraid that Jack the Ripper found your gateway back here and is at this very moment loose on Fantasy Island.
Lorraine Peters: Oh Mr. Roarke. He might kill someone… and it would be my fault.

Well, it’s Roarke’s fault too. Mostly Roarke’s fault, in fact, because he sends people back in time all the time, but he’s never given them a gateway that could be used by Moriarty or whatever bad guy they run into before. Roarke intended for Jack the Ripper to run loose on Fantasy Island. Which is pretty irresponsible, right? Do you think he stocked the island with all actors rather than normal guests this weekend? I feel like Season 1 Mercenary Tattoo would never allow that.

Stanley Hocker: Ah ah ah! Ow! Oh!
Jessie DeWinter: What’s the matter?
Stanley Hocker: It’s an old… polo injury.

I thought this was funny, because Archer does the same thing in “Acquisition”, but then I remembered polo and water polo are two different sports, so it’s actually not that funny.

Stanley is trying to warn Dina that her boyfriend is a gigalo, but she thinks he’s trying to pick her up. She’s not letting him say much, but all he really has to say is “Monty’s a gigalo”, but for some reason, he just doesn’t.

They’re doing this montage of a shot of Jack the Ripper superimposed over the stock shots of Lava Lava girls, and it’s actually pretty creepy. These are all nameless extras, but we’ve seen these shots so many times, it’s almost like we know them.

Roarke: So you’ve discovered a woman is not, after all, an object to be simply used, but is quite possibly a person, with unique qualities and sensibilities, huh?

Miss Peters is walking in the jungle, talking to some guy named Bob, and I’m like what the heck, who is this guy? And then I remembered she came to the island with this guy. What was even the point of this character?

Who needs a closet that big when you are only gonna be there for one weekend?!

Lorraine Peters: I’m not gonna publish my book after all. Just knowing the truth is enough.

What? Why? Jack the Ripper is long dead. You’re not ruining anyone’s life by publishing a book about him. They also used this excuse in 3×23 “Children of Mentu”, but it was about someone who was living, and there, it at least made some sense. This makes no sense.

• Guests:
  • Mr. Stanley Hocker of Steubenville, Ohio
  • Miss Lorraine Peters, a very successful attorney and criminologist, and Mr. Robert West, her law partner
• Tattoo has no faith:
  • Roarke: His fantasy is to be a gigalo.
    Tattoo: ….good luck, boss.
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Tattoo: But boss, she could end up to be one of his victims!
    Roarke: That thought has occurred to me also, Tattoo…
• Roarke’s drink: clearish yellow
• Ominous shot of Roarke raising his glass: he looks concernedly at the guests, then Tattoo, Tattoo sort of rolls his eyes, then Roarke drinks and toasts
• Magic object:
  • Roarke: Some say that, um, his [Don Juan’s] romantic power was derived by magic, through an ancient gold bracelet forged by a sorcerer whose name is lost in the mists of legend.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Stanley Hocker: I’m not a turkey any more; I’m a hunk!
    Roarke: Indeed.
  • Roarke: It appears you have indeed proven your case beyond a shadow of a doubt, Miss Peters.
• Locations:
  • Roarke: Our hotel and lounge here on the north shore of the island are very popular with the ladies.
• When will my fantasy start?
  • Lorraine Peters: Mr. Roarke, what about my fantasy? When will it begin?
• Last chance:
  • Roarke: For your own sake, I must urge you to reconsider.
• Warning:
  • Roarke: I warn you, this door is the only means by which you can return here, so it is vital you note its precise, precise location after you step through.
• Magic door:
  • Roarke: This is a very special door, Miss Peters. It can be caused to open into the past.
• Time travel: Lorraine Peters travels back in time to London of 1888.
• Money: Stanley’s bill at the bar is $738.
• Can’t help you:
  • Roarke: I’m sorry, Mr. Hocker, but it’s your responsibility to make arrangements with your lady friends in advance if you expect them to pay your expenses.
  • Stanley Hocker: Look, you’ve just gotta do something to help me.
    Roarke: I’m sorry, Mr. Hocker, but I have no right to interfere with Miss DeWinter’s choice of a husband.
• Not what you asked for:
  • Roarke: I have provided you with the attractiveness and the charm which you requested, have I not? Well, underwriting your expenditures is definitely not part of your fantasy.
• Tattoo’s responsibilities:
  • [He answers the phone in Roarke’s office.]
    Tattoo: Hello? No, the boss is not here. You want me to approve the menu? Sure. No problem. Yeah, I’ll be there right away. Okay, goodbye.
• Employees: Loni and Malana (the girls picking flowers and giggling while Jack the Ripper watches)
• Cancelling the fantasy:
  • Robert West: I think we should go back, talk to Mr. Roarke, and call this whole thing off.
    Lorraine Peters: Bob, don’t you understand? We can’t call it off! My fantasy has become a reality, and it’s my responsibility.
• Roarke’s powers:
  • Roarke looks at the painting of Don Juan. There is no bracelet in the painting (because it’s on Stanley Hocker’s arm). Roarke stares. The bracelet materializes on the painting.
  • Roarke grabs Jack the Ripper’s arm and is able to force him to drop his weapon. Just a few minutes earlier, Jack the Ripper was able to fight off three guys at the same time.
• Roarke saves the day: Jack the Ripper is about to kill Lorraine Peters, but Roarke grabs his weapon, and Jack runs away and gets trampled by a horse and buggy.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Stanley Hocker with new girlfriend Dina DeWinter