Jencyclopedia

A very shy Mary Ann Mobley has written Fifty Shades of Grey and now she wants to live the book.
A guy wants to fight a martial arts master.

The “Good morning boss / Good morning Tattoo / Let’s go” audio was all off today.

Roarke: I took the liberty of adding another character to your book.

What? That’s weird. I wouldn’t want anyone changing my book.

The main character in the book is this macho horny dude, and Florence can’t wait to meet him. Roarke has added a nice guy character to the story, to be “her friend”. Hmmm, now who do you think she’s gonna end up with in the end?

Roarke: You realize…

No, no, why can’t you just warn her?

What the heck is this? They’re sitting in Roarke’s office, and Roarke starts reading her a bedtime story, and that’s how her fantasy begins. No magic door, no magic fog.

And that is Paradise Cove.

I… is that supposed to be Mary Ann Mobley? The wig is way too dark and curly, and this shot isn’t even necessary.

Roarke: Now, I must warn you both–
Me: YES!

Roarke: These steps will lead you to your destination… and your fantasy.

Magic steps? And no magic fog? Boo.

Linda Graham: What did he mean by price? He was looking right at me!

Ffff, what do you think he meant.

Linda Graham: I am not a prize!

Yuuuu, no, the Kwong guy just kissed the other guy’s wife. Not cool.

These are both boring fantasies.

I would be asking for my money back if I was Mary Ann Mobley. She’s the author, so she knows better than anyone what her characters are like, and Roarke’s just gone and changed them… aaaand I think she was just raped.

Hey, the patio!

Whoa, okay. So the lagoon area is apparently visible from Roarke’s patio door. I don’t think they’ve ever really shown any of the other areas in relation to the main house, other than maybe 2×18 “Pentagram”.

Roarke: Well, Miss Richmond, I hope you weren’t too disappointed in your role as heroine.
Florence Richmond: I learned a great deal about myself. Maybe more than I wanted to know.
Roarke: If you are referring to your encounter with Mr. Brockhill [the guy who raped her], Miss Richmond, everything you experienced during the weekend, it was pure fantasy.
Florence Richmond: I know. It didn’t really happen.
Tattoo: It will make a great plot for your novel.
Roarke: Yes!

That’s like telling Miles O’Brien that his twenty years in prison in his head “didn’t really happen”. Get out of here. And real nice, Tattoo. Yeah, great plot.

• Guests:
  • Miss Florence Richmond, a very successful writer.
  • Mr. and Mrs. Robert Graham of Amsterdam, New York.
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: yeah, a bit
• Technobabble:
  • Roarke: The special conditions necessary to begin your fantasy are now at their strongest.
• Recurring phrases:
  • Roarke: Now, I must warn you both, that once the fantasy commences, it must be played out to its end, you understand?
  • Roarke: I assure you, for this weekend, Master Kwong will be very real indeed.
  • Roarke: A word of warning, as you know, even minor characters sometime speak the truth.
  • Florence Richmond: He’ll find a way to get out of it.
    Roarke: Yes, he will, yes… […] indeed, he will.
  • [Not quite “your fantasy is over”:]
    Roarke: It’s over, Miss Richmond.
• Limitations of Roarke’s powers:
  • Linda Graham: Do you know how all this is going to end, Mr. Roarke?
    Roarke: No.
• Disappearing act:
  • Roarke speaks with Florence Richmond at the pool, and then he disappears when Brent shows up.
  • Roarke reminds the Grahams they can’t leave until their fantasy has played out to the end, then he disappears when Kwong’s guys show up.
• Can’t help you:
  • Linda Graham: We couldn’t find the stairway.
    Roarke: I’m not surprised, Mrs. Graham. You see, there can be no stairway until your fantasy is completed, Mr. Graham.
• All you need is love:
  • Roarke: No desire — no lust — can be stronger than love.
  • Bob Graham: We don’t have any children yet, Tattoo, but when we do, I’m not gonna tell them about their father, and how long it took him to grow up.
    Roarke: Then perhaps you’ll tell them about their mother, who always knew that love is the strongest emotion a man can experience, and who helped their father prove it.
• Someone else had a fantasy:
  • Roarke: Mr. Styles also came to me with a fantasy. He wished to experience the kind of life he had read about in your romantic novels. You see, he’s one of your most avid fans.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Florence Richmond with new boyfriend Peter Styles