Jencyclopedia

A poor family wants to have a big birthday party for their sick son.
A woman has no experience with love, so Roarke enlists the help of Helen of Troy to guide her.

I watched saw the beginning of this episode on TV last year, and then I went back watched all of it a month or so later, because I thought it looked like a good episode, and I was copying files on my computer, and I figured it would be better to do passive internet things than to be doing file things at the same time.

At the time, I commented that it bothers me that Roarke are Julie are always buttoning and unbuttoning their jackets. Of course, after I went back and watched season 1 and saw they’ve been doing this basically since the pilot, it no longer bothers me.

Roarke: If she knows anything at all about life, it is only from the pages of the many books that have been her only companions.

This is basically describing me, except with movies instead of books.

Ah! And this is the episode with one of my favourite GIFs from this series.

Oh, hey. So I’m fairly certain every single season 4 episode used the same shot of the dancing girls and the same music for the opening scene. Many of the later season 4 episodes (4×16, 4×18, 4×20, 4×21, 4×22, 4×23, 4×24) used a zoomed in shot, but it was still the same shot. I like the consistency, but I prefer season 5?/6?, which used slightly different shots each time, so I get to guess each episode which one it will be.

Dona Dolores: If you intend to walk back to the Fantasy Island hotel, it is thirty-seven miles that way.

Whoa. Fantasy Island is huge! 37 miles is about 60 km, and Toronto is like 50 km across. Well, okay; Hawaii’s largest island looks like it’s about 100 km across, so I guess that’s fair.

[Roarke is reading Nancy’s uncle’s will.]
Roarke: “I wish her to laugh and cry and dance ’til dawn and have an affaire du coeur.”
Nancy Harvester: A romantic affair?
Roarke: Precisely.
Nancy Harvester: No, please! No affair. Um… I mean, I’ve never had one! It’s just not me. I just couldn’t do it.
[She is suddenly distracted by her childhood crush.]
Roarke: What is it, Miss Harvester?
Nancy Harvester: Gene. Gene Jefferson.
Roarke: Oh?
[Nancy walks away to talk to Gene. Roarke looks awful pleased with himself.]

Consuelo Lopez: When the well dried out, you didn’t let me write and ask her for a loan so we could drill a new one. And then the taxes went up, and you wouldn’t let me write her then. Now, the bank says we have to bring up our mortgage payment to date.

Ugh. This is lazy.

lol at Tattoo.

[Roarke is about to enter the magic room.]
Roarke: Miss Nancy Harvester’s fantasy requires immediate and expert assistance.
Tattoo: Okay, I’m ready.

This is the first time we’ve seen Roarke use the magic room to take a trip himself, without any guests.

Roarke: The expert must be a woman of specific feminine abilities.
Tattoo: Oh no, not her again.
Roarke: Yes, Tattoo. The situation is… ~critical~.

Wait, so Tattoo doesn’t like Helen of Troy? That seems… out of character for him. Well, maybe it’s because she seemed to have a thing for Roarke, so she probably ignored Tattoo, and that’s why he didn’t like her.

I’ve had a couple of dreams now where I’ve been on Fantasy Island; if I could choose one thing to do in a Fantasy Island dream, I think going through the magic door and seeing where it leads would be neat. (Obviously, getting exact measurements for every room in the main house would be my top priority tho.)

Roarke: My dear Helen of Troy.

This sounds so awkward, but I guess that was the only way they could make it clear who she was.

Helen of Troy: How long has it been? A few hundred years, more or less?
Roarke: Only that? It seemed like a thousand.
Helen of Troy: Do you remember… where?
Roarke: Yes. The empress lent us her house outside ??? (it sounds like Chinois? the subtitles says Ching-Hwa).

Well, we already know Roarke has been around for hundreds of years, so this isn’t really new information, because we knew he was hanging out with Elizabeth Bathory in the 1600s.

I looked up Helen of Troy to see when she was around, but uh… apparently, she’s not real; she’s just a Greek myth.

I know Ricardo Montalban said that Roarke was an angel… but Aphrodite was on Fantasy Island previously, and now we’ve got Helen of Troy, so I wonder if some of the writers intended Roarke to be a Greek god. I think starting next season, they start giving more hints that Roarke is an angel, but I think I like the Greek god thing better. I don’t think there’s been anything so far that would disprove it; Roarke looks skywards a lot, especially when someone mentions god… but he could very well be looking up at Zeus rather than the Christian or whatever God.

I don’t know much about angels, but they’re good and pure and stuff, right? Roarke’s not always good and pure. Well, I think what he actually said was that Roarke was a fallen angel, and Wikipedia says that fallen angels are “angels who sinned. Such angels often tempt humans to sin”… and yeah, I guess that does sound like Roarke. Oh well.

Helen is a fun character:

Roarke: The child has never lived, and if we do not help her, she may never know what it is to be a woman.

wat.

Roarke: Lady Helen, I caution you, please… your power can sow havoc; we don’t want to destroy this child.

There are too many different variants of “I must warn you” now — I remind you, I caution you… okay, that’s about it.

Paquito: Mama…
Me: …why am I dubbed?

There are way too many stairs in this bungalow. Down, then up, then down.

Roarke: Now I’ve brought some clothing for you; Mr. Roarke has told me your sizes.

How does Roarke know her size?

Roarke: I caution you once more. Push her too hard, and she may retreat back into that shell for the rest of her life.

More cautioning. I guess it would be weird if Roarke warned Helen though, because they’re like equals, and “warn” seems too strong a word.

[After Dolores explains the wedding is tomorrow.]
Dona Dolores: Why not have the wedding here?

Yeah, I don’t think most people would change their wedding plans at the last minute like that.

Roarke: You see, Paquito. The bride is getting presents to help her become a good housewife. A sewing machine.
Paquito: Suppose she can’t sew? Jorge’s sister can’t sew.
[Roarke looks concerned at the thought of a woman who can’t sew.]
Roarke: How old is she?
Paquito: Six. Yeah.
Roarke: Well, I’m sure she will learn.

The USURPER.

When I was watching this series on TV last year, I kept seeing these chairs on the show that I thought looked like ones from the Monkees’ pad, but I was always wrong. So finally I get a real Monkees chair. That throne has quite a history. (Okay, well… there’s this, The Monkees (1966), and The Muppet Movie (1979). I think that’s it.) What’s the deal with props? Who owns them? Because this and The Monkees were both Columbia Pictures, but Muppets was not — but the episode of The Monkees (“Royal Flush”) and Muppets were both directed by Jim Frawley, so I thought maybe he bought or stole the throne after The Monkees. But then why would it end up back at Columbia Pictures?

Maybe my fantasy is to own that chair; how could Roarke possibly corrupt that wish? Or maybe my fantasy would be to find where that house from “Monkee See, Monkee Die” is. I kept hoping it would show up in this series — but even if it did, that wouldn’t help, because there’s no huge Fantasy Island fandom that would know where it is.

Helen of Troy: Now Roarke, give me the tools I need to work with, or get me out of it!
Roarke: The fantasy has already begun. You cannot quit. You know that.

I’m surprised Roarke pulled this line on Helen of Troy. It’s usually only guests that he tells “oh, I’m ~sorry~, I cannot help you”.

I hate her lip liner.

[Dolores suggests Paco stay with her while the Lopezs take care of their farm back home after the flood.]
Consuelo Lopez: It’s the only practical thing to do. When we get back on our feet again, we’ll send for him.
Dona Dolores: A child can only belong to one family, not to two. You’re both young and strong and will have many children. I want Paquito as my own son. I know he will learn to love me too when I have him to myself.

Dona Dolores is insane.

There are some episodes where I feel like they stay on one fantasy for a very long time before switching to the second fantasy. I feel like this episode is the opposite; it switches back and forth between the fantasies pretty frequently.

Paquito: Dona Dolores?
Dona Dolores: Yes, Paquito?
Paquito: I’m sorry that you have to be alone.

Kids are cruel.

After this, she walks away, upset, and they zoom in on Roarke. He looks like he’s thinking… but like, why does Roarke need to think in the middle of the fantasy? He already knows how this is gonna play out.

[Roarke has just finished explaining that Consuelo’s husband doesn’t hate Dona Dolores, he just feels emasculated because Dolores has more money than him, and she’s a woman.]
Consuelo Lopez: Vanity!
Roarke: I beg your pardon?
Consuelo Lopez: That’s what it is; I didn’t realize he was vain.

You’re pretty dumb, lady.

Roarke: Perhaps you are right. But even though you are a very lovely woman, senora, uh, do you not sometimes worry that you might be less desirable to him?

What?! Where did that come from? It feels like Roarke is trying to make her feel insecure. Not cool.

Roarke (to Helen of Troy): We both know no man will ever possess Helen of Troy, not even I. That is why you have remained as you are throughout the ages, belonging to all men.

Roarke: …and all women.

Uh… I’ll… allow it?

Tattoo: Boss?
Roarke: Yes?
Tattoo: Can you fix me up with her?
Roarke: Miss Harvester?!
Tattoo: No, Helen of Troy.

What!? I thought he didn’t like her!

Actually, I wonder if Roarke really likes her either, or if he’s just using her.

• Recurring phrases:
  • Tattoo: Boss, those people… are they here for a fantasy?
    Roarke: Indeed they are.
  • Paquito: Don’t you need a baby to be a family?
    Roarke: Indeed, Paquito.
  • Roarke: You wrote me that you also had another fantasy. I warned you that the second one might fail.
• Money:
  • Tattoo: They look like they cannot afford it. What kind of deal did you make?
• Guests:
  • Senor Manuel Lopez, a farmer in Durango, Mexico, with his devoted wife, Consuelo, and their son, Paco
  • Miss Nancy Harvester of Toledo, Ohio, a nurse
• Ominous Roarke:
  • Roarke: Unfortunately for the Lopez family, they are about to be treated… but in a way that definitely may not be first class…
• Roarke’s drink: same old
• Ominous shot of Roarke drinking: maybe, if it didn’t cut off so soon
• Disappearing act:
  • Manuel Lopez: Mr. Roarke, will you take us back please? Where’d he go?
• Magic room and magic fog: Roarke enters the magic room to contact Helen of Troy, and the room fills with fog.
• Roarke’s powers:
  • Helen of Troy: Grant me a wish if I help you?
    Roarke: If it is within my power.
• Can’t help you:
  • Helen of Troy: Now Roarke, give me the tools I need to work with, or get me out of it!
    Roarke: The fantasy has already begun. You cannot quit. You know that.
• What you really, really want:
  • Roarke: Senora Lopez, when you wrote me that in addition to giving your son at birthday party at a fine hacienda, you wrote me that you also had another fantasy. I warned you that the second one might fail.
• Not leaving on the plane: Consuelo Lopez and her son Paco stay on Fantasy Island while Manuel returns home to sell their farm.
• Leaving with an extra guest: Nancy Harvester with new boyfriend Gene Jefferson